Mark McKinney credited as playing...
Father Ritley
- Father Ritley: You must resist, children. Resist the urge that lingers in your loins. But as the saying goes, "Girls have a button and boys have a pole, and wicked touching takes its toll."
- Maria Ganitisis: [at the talent show audition - singing] The devil went down to Georgia, He was looking for a soul to steal, He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, And he was willing to make a deal, When he came across this young man, Sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot, And the devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said, "Boy, let me tell you what", And the devil's in you, and the devil's in me, And the devil's got a big hard co...
- Father Ritley: [interupts the audition] Uh, Maria! Thank you, Maria. Thank you.
- Father Ritley: Miss Gallagher, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass.
- Father Ritley: To Sister Eileen? Why would you say such a thing?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: The video store where I work got Spike Lee movies.
- Father Ritley: Mrs. Gallagher, I called you here today to discuss your granddaughter's problem. Now, upon reflection, I think a combination of prayer and Ritalin could eliminate her excess energy.
- Grandma Gallagher: How dare you. My Mary has no problem. My granddaughter is a star.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: What?
- Grandma Gallagher: Look at that face. She looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor. You may call her hyperactive. But if the Good Lord gave her excess energy, then, by God, no one's taking it from her.
- Father Ritley: You're the rewind girl at Kip's Video.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: Yes, I am.
- Father Ritley: Well, Mary, let's pretend that your life's a movie. We rewind it. It ends. You're dead. How was it?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: My feelings would best be expressed in a monologue from the made-for-TV movie "Portrait of a Teenage Centerfold", starring Miss Lori Singer from "Footloose".
- Father Ritley: If you must.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: It excites me, Daddy. Don't you see? I like it when the men look at me. You try to keep me trapped here in this small town like a little animal. But I am bustin' out, Daddy! I'm gonna see the world, and the world is gonna see me! They're gonna see all of me, Daddy! All of me!
- Father Ritley: Evian, I'm disappointed in you. At this school, any student, including Mary, is allowed to make a fool of herself at the auditions.
- Father Ritley: [at the talent show audition] So, what are you going to do for us, Mary?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: I just wanna say - that I'm multitalented, but today I've chosen to express myself through song. Okay.
- [singing]
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: You - You ask me if I love you, And I choke on my reply, l'd rather tell you honestly, Than mislead you with a lie, And sometimes when we touch, The honesty's too much, I have to close my eyes, And hide, I wanna hold you till I die, Till we both break down, And cry, I wanna hold you, Till the fear in me, Subsides...
- Father Ritley: You must be strong and resist. For those who are weak will no doubt one day burn and fester in the swollen VD-infested, fiery pits of hell! But, let's have some fun.
- Father Ritley: Welcome to St. Monica's Catholic High School. So, are we all ready to fight VD ? I hope that you're as excited as I am.
- Helen Lewengrub: You're feeling sad. So you know what it's time for?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: What?
- Helen Lewengrub: Super model documentary hour!
- [Mary and Helen pose and they are in a photo shoot fantasy posing for a photographer]
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: Shall I look straight here?
- Helen Lewengrub: [speaking in a French accent] I was just walking down the street one day and a man come up to me and he said "would you like to be a supermodel?" And I said "oui" and the next day I'm in New York on the cover of Vogue.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher, Helen Lewengrub: Ooh wooh!
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: Christy Turlington and Naomi Campbell are two of my very best friends and we get together and it's like total total and utter insanity. Insanity!
- [Helen mouths "insanity]
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: It's like three of the most gorgeous girls raising... .. hell!
- Father Ritley: [Father Ritley appears behind the girls and the fantasy ends] problem ladies?
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: Sorry Father Ritley. Sorry everybody.
- [Mary turns to Helen and they start laughing silently]
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: [In a dream about Sky and her friends and Father Ritley in astronaut suits] Sky, promise me, after you destroy the meteor that's headed towards earth, you'll come back and kiss me?
- Sky Corrigan: I promise babe.
- Sky Corrigan: [singing] all my bags are packed. I'm ready to go. I'm standing here, outside your door.
- Father Ritley, Thomas, Maria Ganitisis, Howard Feinstein, Owen Flanagan, Helen Lewengrub: [All singing] I hate to wake you up to say goodbye!
- Sky Corrigan: [everyone crying and humming] Mary, I don't know how to tell you this. But I just want you to know that. I'm really going... .
- [turning to everyone who's humming]
- Sky Corrigan: Can you shut the hell up? I'm trying to talk!
- Sky Corrigan: You gotta go.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: No.
- Sky Corrigan: You have to get off me.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: No!
- Sky Corrigan: Mary, please get off me.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: No!
- Sky Corrigan: Get the hell off me!
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: No! I wanna stay!
- Sky Corrigan: There's a meteor coming!
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: No! No!
- [two military guards attempt to grab Mary off of Sky]