Chicken Park

This movie isn't bad. It's beyond bad. It is indescribable.

Living in Australia, which seems to be about the only place a copy of this is available, i borrowed a copy as a laugh. What did i think???

I can't really say, because it was impossible to watch.

I Tried 6 times (yes, really 6) to watch the movie from start to finish. The furthest i got was about 20 minutes with it on in the background, and that was still too much. I managed to watch it all in segments of about 5 minutes at a time (i had to keep myself sane) but that was still WAY too much of this crap.

If you read any of my other reviews, you will see that i watch bad movies for fun, and i have an extremely tough stomach for them. I can sit through almost anything. This movie was the first movie which ever defeated me, and the only other two were 'santa with muscles' starring hulk hogan, and an unofficial baywatch movie made in somebody's backyard (its not even on the imdb). But i managed about 40 minutes of them. This movie has NOTHING going for it at all.

I challenge you to sit through it.

This should be the kind of movie I love: zero budget, appalling acting and ridiculous special effects. However, ridiculously unfunny spoofs and lame movie in-jokes manage to completely destroy just about every guilty pleasure this film has to offer.

Not that it is all horrific. Fans of Z-grade cinema will enjoy the scenes set in Chicken Park. The giant chicken effects are hilarious and Bruce, the cross-dressing, giant gay chicken is truly a marvel of our times. Likewise, the randy chicken that rips off Sigourney's top, exposing her breasts. Now, that's just classy film-making!

It's a shame that these moments of poultry flavoured hilarity only account for approximately 10 minutes of the film. The remainder of the movie can only be described as a cinematic car wreck. It's not only poorly made but also excruciatingly boring. I was also genuinely upset to see an actress of the calibre of Rossy De Palma in a film this dire. How has the one time muse of Pedro Almodovar found herself playing a character called Necrophilia, who dresses like Morticia Adams and gets pleasured by "Thing" while watching a video tape of someone undergoing surgery? Someone please rescue this diva from Z-grade movie hell!

In conclusion, this film is nothing but a putrid heap of fresh chicken poo. Fans of trash are advised to simply fast forward to the giant chickens and leave the rest of the film for those with sadomasochistic tendencies.

Easily a candidate for worst parody movie ever produced, a movie in which everything is wrong. Jerry Cala, an otherwise talented comedian (watch him in the movies he shot for Ferreri, Risi and Polidoro), debuts as a screenwriter and director, and you can see he is an amateur in both jobs from a mile away. Every single joke falls flat, every actor (including Cala himself) is wrongly cast, every shot looks pedestrian. Just terrible!

Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen, Chicken Park is not improved by its vague attempts to be funny. It is maybe - just maybe - worth watching out of a sense of sheer horror that someone would make a travesty like this. From a deranged plotline involving the main character's fighting rooster to a somehow even more impossible senario with giant prehistoric chickens running down the characters and devouring them, this film can only be described as awful. If you have a burning desire to see a movie where a man is sexually molested by a giant homosexual rooster then Chicken Park is for you. The excrutiating awfulness of it aside, the chicken puppets aren't actually too bad. I can't remember why I hired it, but may I be protected from such a self destructive urge in the future.

Think of 'Chicken Park' and 'Kramer vs Kramer'. I would rather watch Chicken Park again, at least it didn't pretend to be anything more than a quick, cheap rip-off. And there were some mildly amusing parts, and a fairly attractive chick (human variety) who bared her breasts. El cheapo and too dependant on tiresome sexual referencing trying unsuccessfully to be funny, but tolerable because it knew it was bad.