The Monkey King

Well, this mini-series was the straw that broke the back for producer Robert Halmi with NBC. The faults of his previous rating disaster, "The 10th Kingdom" have not been heeded in this production. The screenplay is overloaded with over the top characters and situations that never let up. But, to me, the failure of "The Lost Empire" falls in three categories. The total miscasting of Thomas Gibson, who gives a tired and stiff performance. Gibson seems to barely be able to walk, much less perform martial arts, and his delivery is unbelievably stilted. The music score is among the worst I've heard in a production like this. There is little thematic melody and even less of the score reflects the rich culture depicted in the story. Third, the director chose to shoot most of the frequent martial arts action from the waist up, so much of the visual impact of those scenes is lost. Indeed, only Bai Ling retains her dignity in the production. The only other redeeming feature is, that the film did cause me to look into the classic book, "Journey to the West."

Some other commentators have bemoaned the historical faults, others the romantic interest. To which I say this - first off, it was a made for TV movie. What is the first role of such a movie? To entertain. Perhaps the History Channel will do a more accurate documentary, if that's what people want. As for the romance, where would the movie "Titanic" have been without the love story? Similarly, this movie needs the romantic interest to move the very 21st Century "Scholar" into a position to want to get involved with people that are more the stuff of Myth, Legend, and to a great degree, Hope. Otherwise, why should he bother? "The Journey West" is a story I'd not heard of. Now, even with this fanciful introduction, I think I'll go look it up and read it. To bring me to do this, both the movie, and other comments here, have thus been successful. Microwave up the popcorn, sit back and enjoy the show. Just don't take it too seriously, just enjoy it for the entertainment that it is.

The Lost Empire, or The Monkey King, as it was called when I saw it on the Hallmark Network, is a silly film, but a very enjoyable one. It attempts to put a new spin on the Chinese classic, Journey to the West, which tells the story of how a monk went on an epic journey to recover some sacred scriptures, aided by the mischievous Monkey King, the gluttonous Pigsy and the sombre Sandy.

In this modern version the companions are the same, but the monk is replaced by a modern American sinologist, and the "scripture" is the original manuscript of Journey to the West itself, which is about to be destroyed by the "five traditional masters", who represent the forces of conservatism. Confused? It gets worse; if the book is destroyed, all the human progress that has taken place since the book was written will be reversed and the world will revert to feudalism. To cap it all, the Jade Emperor, Confucius and Kuan Yin, the goddess of compassion, are all weighing in.

With a scenario like this, the film cannot help but being absurd in places, but the absurdity, intentional or otherwise, is part of the fun, as it was in the original Journey to the West, which is a comedy as well as an analogy of the spiritual journey. Viewers who have read Journey to the West will enjoy the references to it; others can sit back and enjoy the visual richness, which as well as some spectacular scenes and SFX, includes Bai Ling as Kuan Yin, looking far more sexy than a goddess of compassion ought to (but then that's one of the twists in this tale as well).

I watched this because of the previews, which showed a kind of Matrix/Crouching Tiger/Raiders cash-in, but I was very disappointed. All the rip-offs were there, but very poorly done (even the CGI effects looked cheap). This might be what Sid and Marty Krofft would do if they were still making Saturday-morning fare.

The plot was obviously padded, the wind-ups (it seemed like there were about 30 of them) were anti-climactic, and the worst thing was the mish-mash of American and Chinese pseudo-mythology that has people saying things like "For Buddhaaaaa" while jumping off cliffs towards battle and painting Confucious as an ass-kissing bad guy.

Along the way we have things like an American bookworm achieving God-level martial arts skill with only 3 days of practice, and a random globbing together of events in Chinese history that took place anywhere from 3000 to 30 years ago.

All-in-all this was an insult to anyone that knows anything at all about Eastern history and philosophy, and a destruction (ie: more than a waste) of 4 hours for everyone else.

Surprisingly and shockingly awful. There are a lot of significant events, but no story. Constant stickfights that all look the same, aren't very exciting, and all the good guys win far too easily so no tension is created, do not make a movie action packed. Constant scenes of giant whirlpools or people flying do not make a movie magical when the scenes are poorly done and completely unmotivated by character. Watching two people kiss and express their love for one another does not make a movie romantic unless the two characters have some chemistry and interaction. The problem isn't that this movie is cheesy and formulaic. The problem is that the cheesy formula is unbelievably poorly executed. The characters are never developed, the special effects (especially the tiger) are often second rate, the story is not only derivative of every fantasy movie ever but derivative of itself (two separate villages that have had their children kidnapped by bad people), at least don't repeat your own ideas in the same movie. Dialogue is awful and cardboard, and the acting is pretty much lousy. This is everything the typical, paint-by-numbers approach to movie making yields. This movie is so bad it's insulting to it's audience. Horrible. Save yourselves and don't go near this worthless mess of a mini-series.