- Raelene Beagle-Thorpe: What the hell are you doing?
- Steve Karamitsis: Woah baby! Hey, give people some warning before you stick that face out in public.
- Raelene Beagle-Thorpe: Do you know who I am?
- Steve Karamitsis: [noticing the smeared lipstick] Mrs Ronald McDonald?
- Raelene Beagle-Thorpe: I'm the Minister for employment. You little worm!
- Steve Karamitsis: Oh really? Well on behalf of myself and the other 799,000 unemployed in this country, you're doing a great fucking job.
- Steve Karamitsis: [after being pulled over by the police] How ya goin' alright?
- Bazza: Please exit the vehicle making sure to keep yourself between the vehicle and ourselves at all times, and keeping your hands in full view.
- Steve Karamitsis: Sorry mate, what did you say?
- Shazza: Get out of the car.
- Steve Karamitsis: [gets out of the car] Hey I wasn't speeding or anything was I?
- Bazza: No, but may I inquire as to your intended destination at this untimely hour?
- Steve Karamitsis: Sorry?
- Shazza: Where ya going so early in the morning?
- Steve Karamitsis: Oh, I'm just off to church.
- Shazza: Yeah right, you're an altar boy.
- Steve Karamitsis: Nah, I'm actually on the dole. I just do favours for people.
- Bazza: Your vehicle appears disproportionately well maintained for a person of your fiduciary capacity.
- Steve Karamitsis: [looks at the second police officer]
- Shazza: Nice car for a dole bludger.
- Mario: [in his pizza shop, arguing with Tran over who is a better fighter in history. Tran informs him that there will be no more deliveries until Mario admits he is wrong] Listen, I tell you once, I tell you twice, I no tell you a second time. Hercules could kick Bruce Lee's butt.
- Tran: [maintaining that Mario is wrong] Mate, Bruce Lee could kick Hercules' hairy arse from here
- [points to his groin then gestures from his chin]
- Tran: back to Rome!
- [Mario yells at him to get out and go deliver the pizzas]
- Frank: Hercules, Bruce Lee. It's very sad isn't it? I mean everyone knows you don't measure a man by the amounts of fights he's had, it's how many roots he gets that counts. And we know who the king was in that department uh? Elvis man.
- Domenic: Well then I must be the prince.
- [Frank scoffs]
- Domenic: What, you don't believe me? Don't worry about me mate, I get plentys of chicks.
- Frank: Hey Dominic, your mother doesn't count.
- [Steve smirks]
- Domenic: Oh ha ha very funny. Come to the chemist one day and I'll show you my video collection.
- Frank, Steve Karamitsis: [curiously] Videos?
- Domenic: Of course mate. I tape everything. I'm a pervert.
- Tony the Yugoslav: [to Dominic] I'm half Serbian, half Croatian! I wake up in the morning, I want to kill MYSELF! So killing you is no problem, fucken!
- Steve Karamitsis: Haven't you got any ambition?
- Theo: Ambition? Ambition is just an excuse for not having the guts to be lazy.
- Steve Karamitsis: What am I supposed to do?
- Nathan: Do? You're a public servant now, you're not supposed to do anything. I'll show you how to jam the photocopier and crash the computers.
- Steve Karamitsis: Why is that important?
- Nathan: Of course it is, it creates work!
- Steve Karamitsis: [Steve's cousin Theo is wearing a neckbrace to get a disability payment] Look at this man. He sacrificed his health for the service of this country, and you cut off his disability pension. I am disgusted.
- The Supervisor: What sacrifice to the country? He was a waiter.
- Steve Karamitsis: Yeah, but what a waiter. When somebody ordered a café latte, his motto was "better sooner than latte".
- Steve Karamitsis: [Narrating] Our local nightclub was the hottest place in town. People queued for hours just to get in. Good thing for me, the guys at the door were my cousins - Taki, Laki and Faki.
- Celia O'Brien: I'm not the one who drives around in a penis-extension of a car!
- Steve Karamitsis: Hey, hey, hey... I don't need no extensions baby!
- Girl in Street: Weren't you on TV the other night?
- Steve Karamitsis: Yeah that was me.
- Girl in Street: Yeah you fucken moron dole bludger. Get a job.
- Girl in Street: You're a disgrace you wanker!
- Steve Karamitsis: Congratulations Mr Lee. You have won an authentic plaster lion courtesy of Manoli's Plaster Emporium.
- Mr. Lee: But Vietnamese have elephant, not lion!
- Steve Karamitsis: Elephant, lion, same!
- Domenic: I'm desperate. The lab blew up. Tony has gone nuts. I need five grand to keep him happy.
- Steve Karamitsis: Hey, I got no money! Capisce?
- Domenic: Steve, please! Help me you bastard! Can't you see I'm begging you!
- Steve Karamitsis: [as security grab Domenic and drag him away] Take it easy with him, he has gone nuts!
- Domenic: You'll pay for this wog boy, I got the dirt on YOU mate!
- [to the guards dragging him away]
- Domenic: Take it easy, this is the jacket my mother bought me!
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