Duke Nukem 3D (1996 Video Game)

Jon St. John: Duke Nukem

Quotes 

• Duke Nukem : It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.

• [first lines] 

  Duke Nukem : Damn, those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride.

• [Duke examines the Duke Nukem II arcade machine] 

  Duke Nukem : Hmm, don't have time to play with myself.

• Duke Nukem : Ahhhh... much better!

• Duke Nukem : You're an inspiration for birth-control.

• Duke Nukem : Groovy!

• Duke Nukem : I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!

• Duke Nukem : [Nintendo 64 version only] 

  [after entering a secret area and finding Snake from Escape from L.A. dead, torn in half, and hanging on chains] 

  Duke Nukem : I guess he didn't escape from L.A.

• Duke Nukem : [singing horribly]  Born To Be Wiiillllddd!

• Duke Nukem : Let's rock!

• Duke Nukem : Your face. Your ass. What's the difference?

• Duke Nukem : Nobody steals our chicks... and lives!

• [seeing a torn corpse of a Space Marine from Doom] 

  Duke Nukem : Hmm, that's one doomed space marine.

• Duke Nukem : This really pisses me off!

• Duke Nukem : [sometimes says it after finishing a level]  Ready for action!

• Duke Nukem : [whenever an alien is blown to bits]  Oooooooooh, that's gotta hurt!

• Duke Nukem : [after looking at himself in a mirror]  Damn! I'm looking good!

• Duke Nukem : [after discovering 3 women in a hidden room]  Hmmm, my kind of party! I wish I had time!

• Duke Nukem : [upon seeing an Assault Trooper blowing up after it crosses an activated Laser Tripbomb]  Blow it out your ass!

• Duke Nukem : [sometimes says it after an alien squishes itself when passing through a wall]  Eat shit and die!

• Duke Nukem : We meet again, Doctor Jones!

• Duke Nukem : [Sometimes upon seeing a stripper dancing]  Shake it, baby!

• Duke Nukem : [Sometimes upon seeing a stripper dancing]  Wanna dance?

• Duke Nukem : Rest in pieces!

• Duke Nukem : Who wants some?

• Duke Nukem : What are you waiting for? Christmas?

• Duke Nukem : Uh, uh, uh. Where is it?

• [after an earthquake shakes the level] 

  Duke Nukem : I ain't afraid of no quake!

• Duke Nukem : Damn, you're ugly.

• Duke Nukem : This is K-T-I-T. KTIT. Playing the breast... Uh... The best tunes in town!

• Duke Nukem : Damn. Those alien maggots booby-trapped the sub!

• Duke Nukem : [checking out office computer playing Duke 3D]  Get back to work, you slacker!

• Duke Nukem : Damn, that's the second time those alien bastards shot up my ride!

• Duke Nukem : My name's Duke Nukem. After some few days of R&R, I'll be ready for some more action!

  Woman : Aww, come back to bed, Duke! I have ready for some action, nowww!

• Duke Nukem : [after seeing an ID4 spaceship hovering over Duke Burger on a screen]  Nobody jacks with our Independence!

• Duke Nukem : [after entering a back room in Duke Burger]  Nobody messes with my meat!

• Duke Nukem : What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum-sucking algae eater?

• Duke Nukem : Lucky son of a bitch!

• [says it everytime Duke kills the boss of the episode] 

  Duke Nukem : Die, you son of a bitch!

• Boss 1 : Who... the... hell... are you?

  [Duke shoots the boss's head and kills him] 

  Duke Nukem : I'm Duke Nukem. And I'm coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!

• Duke Nukem : Let god sort 'em out.

• Duke Nukem : Heh, heh, heh, what a mess!

• Duke Nukem : I should have known those alien maggots booby-trapped the sub.

• Duke Nukem : I'm going in.

• Duke Nukem : I think you need some down time...

• Duke Nukem : Looks like it's time for me to go POSTAL!

• Duke Nukem : Nukem 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!

• Duke Nukem : And I thought 10 guns was hard to carry!

• Duke Nukem : ...And I thought cigars tasted bad!

• Duke Nukem : [upon blowing up an Assault Commander with the RPG]  Suck it down!

• Duke Nukem : It's down to you and me, you one-eyed freak!

• Duke Nukem : Somebody's gonna freakin' pay for screwin' up my vacation.

• Duke Nukem : [after discovering Luke Skywalker's corpse hanging upside-down]  Now this is a force to be reckoned with!

• Duke Nukem : [sometimes says it after squishing an alien]  Bitchin'!

• Duke Nukem : Yo ho ho, and a bottle of Jack!

• Duke Nukem : [after stepping in a puddle from a monster that soiled itself in death]  Shit happens!

• [upon defeating the Alien Queen, the final boss of the game] 

  Duke Nukem : It's time to abort your whole friggin' species!

  [blows up the Alien Queen's corpse with a pipe bomb] 

• Duke Nukem : Get the crap outta here!