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Jason Marsden, Grey Griffin, Phil LaMarr, and Kath Soucie in The Weekenders (2000)

Phil LaMarr: Carver Descartes • Bluke • Carver's Dad • ...

The Weekenders

Phil LaMarr credited as playing...

Carver Descartes • Bluke • Carver's Dad • Coach Ned Colson • Hans • Alien Slug Beast • Captain Dreadnought • Dr. Skippy • Irvine • Mall Security Guard • Nick Vance • Tony Tordolero

Photos35

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Quotes21

  • Carver: I am going to be CARP!
  • Tino: Did you say Carp?
  • Carver: That stands for what I want to be. Cool And Radically Popular.
  • Tino: It's a good thing you don't want to be Cool RICH And Popular.
  • Carver: Why?
  • Tish: If I'm a winter, how about this?
  • [Comes out of dressing room dressed in a white faux fur coat that covers all but her face]
  • Tino: Stand absolutely still.
  • Carver: What if it tracks by scent?
  • Tish: Ha, ha. Very funny.
  • Tino: Aah! It's seen us! Run!
  • Carver: You guys are toast.
  • Tino: Well you're double toast.
  • Lor McQuarrie: You're triple toast.
  • Tish: You're *French* toast.
  • Tino: *French* toast?
  • Tish: [sighs] It's been a long day.
  • Tino: If a game doesn't have rules, it's not a game is it?
  • Carver: No, it's politics.
  • [Tish is forcing her friends to do a radio play]
  • Carver: I can't work under these conditions! I'll be in my trailer!
  • [Walks into a closet and closes it]
  • Tino: Err... that's my closet.
  • Carver: Do you have a compass in there?
  • Tino: Yup!
  • Carver: Maybe you can use it to find your way BACK TO REALITY!
  • Tish: Me? JEALOUS? I haven't got a jealous bone in my body!
  • Carver: Do you have any jealous internal organs?
  • Tish: Lor, don't you think you're being a tad paranoid?
  • Carver: A tad? More like 5 tads and 18 smidgens.
  • Carver: How do you spell beautiful?
  • Girl: M-e-l G-i-b-s-o-n
  • Carver: Interesting. And how did you obtain your data?
  • Tino: Made it up.
  • Carver: I see.
  • Carver: Geeks... Geeks? Those geeks are my friends!
  • Tino: did he just say geeks?
  • Carver: You have a point there, Lor.
  • [Frantically checking her chest]
  • Lor McQuarrie: Where?
  • [a girl who humiliated Carver is waving at him at the beach]
  • Carver: SHE'S WAVING AT ME? Isn't there a law against that?
  • Tino: [Sarcastic] Yeeah, you're enforced by the Federal Bureau of Waving.
  • Carver: Do you have a compass in there?
  • Tino: Why, yes I do!
  • Carver: Well, maybe you could use it to find your way back to *reality*!
  • Tino: They're coming to get me! Mutant clowns from the Hollow Earth! They're real! It's the clown-pocalypse! Aaah!
  • Carver: I think he's getting better.
  • Carver: Excuse me while I spend the rest of my life in the attic.
  • [Carver walks off]
  • Lor McQuarrie: Wow! That must be a pretty nice attic! Er... what?
  • Carver: Ugh, I think my stomach just resigned in disgust.
  • Lor McQuarrie: Have you seen the World's Funniest Medical Blunders?
  • Carver: Once. This guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his lungs were smiling back at him.
  • Tish: Don't you want to broaden your minds?
  • Lor McQuarrie: Our minds are already broad enough.
  • Carver: Yea I already have trouble finding hats that fit.
  • Lor McQuarrie: Go fish.
  • Carver: We're playing Crazy Eights.

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