George Carlin: What Am I Doing in New Jersey? (1988 TV Special)

Robert N. Altman: Taxi Driver

Quotes 

• George Carlin : [First lines] 

  [George is exiting a hotel and goes up to a cab] 

  George Carlin : Hey I gotta go to New Jersey.

  Taxi Driver : Is there any way you can get out of it?

  George Carlin : Nah, I don't think so. I think it has something to do with Original Sin.

  Taxi Driver : [Resigned]  Alright, get in.

  George Carlin : [George does and as they get under way]  Sorry to do this to ya.

• George Carlin : [Sees a bar called Manny's]  Hey, here's a place. Pull over. I'll go ask for directions.

  Taxi Driver : [as they pull over]  Hey, while you're in there, ask them about what they think of man's role in the universe.

  George Carlin : What for?

  Taxi Driver : I'm a cab driver. I wanna know.

  George Carlin : [He gets out and goes into the bar and up to the bartender]  Hey, look I got a show I'm doing nearby, and I need dections. You think you could help me out?

  Bartender at Manny's : Hey, you're Geroge Carlin, aren't ya? We're getting ready to watch you on TV.

  George Carlin : Oh, that's great, but hey can anyone help me get to the Park Theater?

  [the bartender and a bunch of the other patrons all give him directions at the same time] 

  George Carlin : Okay, thanks, and hey another question. What do you think about man's role in the universe?

  [They all now look at him in dumbfounded silence. George then nods a bit and leaves] 

  Taxi Driver : [as George gets back in the cab]  What did they say?

  George Carlin : They said to keep going straight until you come to a turn.

  Taxi Driver : [as they get rolling again]  No, what did they say about man's role in the universe?

  George Carlin : Oh, uh, they said they needed more time to think about it.

• George Carlin : Forty-second Street. Know why it's called Forty-second Street? Because that's about the amount of time you wanna be on it; forty seconds.

  Taxi Driver : I kind of like the signs though.

  George Carlin : Yeah. They do look great. I saw a sign here once I've never seen before. "Appearing tonight: Continuous live adult nude all male fucking!"