- JJ Curtis: You see, mine is a fascinating life. Born into poverty. Left school at twelve. Merchant navy. Last days of music hall. Pirate radio. Pioneer of television. A household name. Not bad for a boy from nowhere.
- Jonathan Stitch: It *was* an accident, wasn't it?
- JJ Curtis: Up to a point. I mean, I had no way of calculating the actual voltage. There is always an element of chance in these sort of things.
- JJ Curtis: You're a novelist. And I'm a game show host. As you see it, I'm at the trashier end of popular culture. It's gaudy, it's lowbrow. I understand.
- JJ Curtis: Amazing, really, what a man can achieve with one bent journalist and an envelope stuffed full of £5 notes - money well spent.
- Karen Willet: Unfortunately, Dave's renewed popularity only gave him more confidence in his crusade against that *godfather* of family entertainment.
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