Out Cold (2001)

Derek Hamilton: Pig Pen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pig Pen : Carpe the Diem. Seize The Carp.

• Eric Montclare : Welcome to your first random drug test!

  Pigpen : I don't have to write a test to tell you I do drugs...

• Pig Pen : [shouts]  So, are you like a crippled guy?

  Barry : [shouts]  Naw, I'm just a really lazy guy!

• Pig Pen : [nervously]  Hello Inga. I've never been a man of words, but there's something I have to say to you. Inga, I've loved you from the first time that I saw you, and I love you more than any man's ever loved a woman that he's never actually spoken to. I'm only gonna offer this once. Inga, will you... have sex with me?

  [long pause] 

  Inga : Nothing would piss off my stepfather more. Let's do this!

• Stumpy : Oh you foolish foolish boys. This is how it all starts. I've seen it all before. I was there. I was there. Yeah! It was called the 80's! Ford was President, Nixon was in the White House, FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bumming in a hole in the wall town in what is now called "Utah". Some fellow from Colorado shows up- starts making all kinds of so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets were running us with lattes!

  Rick : No?

  Stumpy : Yup!... It got so bad that a fellow that liked to, you know, smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster! Maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, is uncouth, "Against God!" and bad for real estate values. STUMPY HAD TO GOOOO! Richard, be careful what you wish for.

  Rick : You got it Stump

  Stumpy : Be careful what you wish for!

  Rick : I will

  Stumpy : Alright?

  [slams knife down onto table but into his own hand] 

  Rick : GOD!

  Stumpy : [voice straining]  I'm good

  Pigpen : [nonchalantly]  You better put something on that

  Stumpy : [Walks away straining] 

• Pigpen : Here's what I don't get, alright, is you met this chick and you got freaky-deaky with her and then poof. She disappears. How's there a problem with that?

• Stumpy : Hey, Pig Pen, you ever been in one of those lesbian chat rooms?

  Pig Pen : No... are they good?

  Stumpy : [looking away]  Well, I don't know.

• Luke : [punches Pig Pen]  A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man?

  Pig Pen : Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa wanted you to run this mountain.

• Rick : Bull Mountain is our home, and I say we do something about it!

  Pig Pen : Yeah! It is our town!

  Jenny : Yeah!

  Barry : So you got a plan?

  Rick : No.

  Luke : [pause]  I'm in.

  Anthony : Me too.

  Jenny : Let's do it!

• Pig Pen : Snownook's not our home, Bull Mountain's our home.

  Anthony : Well technically, it belonged to the Eskimos, but we stole it fair and square.

• Doorman : Get outta here!

  Pig Pen : I'm gonna take Kung-Fu and kick you're friggen ass! We'll have the party at our place... We don't need their fancy-smancy gent and their blue ropes!

  [Pig Pen and Anthony run back to the door and grab the blue ropes] 

• Pigpen : [holding Luke's head]  Im gonna need a bucket, a paint brush, and ten pounds of salt. Lance, get his pants.

• Inga : I was wondering if you can make a kind of drink. It's called... what is the word in English for this...

  [rubs her belly-button to signify 'fuzzy navel'] 

  Pigpen : Horny-maker!

• Pig Pen : Lance, if you weren't gay, you'd be a pretty weird guy.