Trembling Before G-d

This is a very disturbing documentary. One can only congratulate director Sandi Dubowski for the courage in dealing with the subject matter. Of course, the study here was done among Orthodox Jews who are at the margin of their religion. This film is universal because it could apply to conservative beliefs as well.

How can the people in charge of a congregation reject anyone because they are different from what ancient texts tell? Aren't these gay men and women the product of legal marriages from religion abiding parents? These children didn't ask to be born gay, but the fact remains they are that way and no one, being the rabbis in charge, or the parents can reverse the fact. Love, nurturing, acceptance are lacking from all those in high places.

After viewing the film, I felt great sadness for the people that have to lead a life away from family and community for just being gay. Shame on the parents and the leaders for banning their children into oblivion. I salute their stand for being themselves.

This documentary transcends any and every divisions there are in this world and shows the admirable strength a proud few who felt the need to communicate their struggle with the rest of the world. I was always taught that one should could not be religious AND homosexual, that we had to choose between being one or the other. This film proves that theory wrong. Its ultimate message is showing the power of love via humanizing and de-stigmatizing a sensitive, but very real, issue. God bless all who participated.

As a gay Catholic, who has embraced celibacy to conform to the teachings of the Church, I can wholeheartedly identify with the efforts of the Orthodox Jewish lesbians and gays in this film to reconcile their spirituality and sexuality, and to find acceptance in the eyes of God and their community. It is heartwrenching especially to see the havoc that this struggle has wreaked in the life of Israel Fishman. On the surface, he responds with bravado, rejecting the people and the faith that have rejected him. Yet, in one of the film's most powerful scenes, he vents his sorrow and bitterness, anger and rage, at what being gay has cost him, especially the love of his father.

The documentary is perhaps not slick and elegant in terms of production values. The constant subtitles, interpreting Hebrew and Yiddish terms for the Gentile viewer, are sometimes intrusive and annoying (especially if the viewer is at all conversant with the Jewish faith). It would have been useful, though, to explain that "Ha-Shem" means "the Name", i.e., God's name which may never be pronounced.

What it most interesting about this documentary, I think, is that it shows how the main problem may not so much be finding acceptance of onself as lesbian or gay, but rather finding acceptance of oneself as a spiritual person in a secular world.

Finally, although the film clearly documents the trials and difficulties of being a lesbian or gay Orthodox Jew, the joy of loving and being loved by G-d comes shining through. The lesbians and gays in this film suffer much at the hands of their families and rabbis, their synagogues and yeshivas -- but never, it seems, do they question that they are loved and accepted by G-d.

There will always be oppression, there will always be bigotry, and there will always be guilt and shame, because organized religion has given us all of these and more. And now here comes a group of gay Orthodox Jews asking their elders and family to deny millennia of religious writings and dogma and accept them unconditionally? I am gay and a Jew and accept the fact that not every person I meet will be happy with either of those affirmations. To find people that will accept both at the same time is rarer still. At least I had the good fortune NOT to be born into an orthodox household. I would have written them off years ago..

This documentary is a caring and touching look at several people caught in a moral and sexual dilemma. Whom do they deny, themselves, or G-d? If they proclaim their homosexuality to their world, they are dismissed or ignored, shunned or exiled. If they repress their feelings and accept the dogmatic teachings of their draconian faith, then they are driven to suffer in silence, or worse, suicide.

This is little more than a modern day inquisition with the parents, the rebbe's and the congregations turning the thumbscrews on these pathetic souls. My heart goes out to all of them, but in my opinion, it is a loosing battle. I would rather see them live as complete a life as they can, knowing they are doing the best that they can, and striving for a shift in attitude in general, not a change in religious doctrine, which will never come.

I am a Jew, albeit a "heathen" Jew, yet I found myself loathing all of these hyper-religious Jews, gay or not. It wasn't until the very end of the film that the director managed to bring us back to the mainstream, the essence, of Judaism with a throwaway quote from one of the film's counterpoint talking heads, a psychologist who had defected from the flock of extreme Orthodox Judaism. To paraphrase his lyrical and solid argument, he reminded us that the God of Judaism is a God of love, not control. He is the same God that engaged in conversations, in the Talmudic tradition, with Abraham and Moses and other biblical figures, in order to respond to the needs of the changing human condition. Until that point it was unclear what the director's point of view was or who her intended audience was for this film. If this portrayal of the most extreme vestige of Judaism was intended for a general audience, then, judging by my own reaction, I'd say she may have succeeded in painting all of Judaism with the same brush. It was clear that the rigid and mindless interpretations of Judaism by the extreme right were being depicted as a bad thing, but where was the Talmudic debate as to why they were wrong? I may not be a religious Jew, and I may not believe in God, but as one of the gay outcasts from the flock explained, I do believe that being born a Jew is a gift. It is Judaism's ancient teachings, that a meaningful life must be spent in pursuit of knowledge and understanding and tolerance in order to better the human condition, that make Judaism such a special tradition to be a part of.

The message that the film SHOULD have made, and failed to do, is that EVERY religion taken to its extreme, including Judaism, is nothing more than a breeding ground for people who are like robotic religious protoplasm. Ultimately, their religious fervor serves only to maintain a symbolic, xenophobic status quo that becomes a perversion of something they blindly devote their life to preserving.