Colin Firth: Mark Darcy

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Mark Darcy

Daniel Cleaver: [Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy have just had a fistfight over Bridget] You know what, mate? If you are so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her?
Mark Darcy: [turns away and starts to walk]
Daniel Cleaver: [pause] Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
[Mark dives again into the fountain]

Mark Darcy: As a matter of fact, I have a question to ask you.
Bridget Jones: Okay. As long as it's not, "Will you marry me?"
[chuckles. Mark looks devastated]
Bridget Jones: Oh, God... It *is* "Will you marry me?"
Mark Darcy: Well, I'm not going to say it now.
Bridget Jones: No, no, no! Just wait!
[runs back to the door]
Mark Darcy: The moment's gone, Bridget.
Bridget Jones: We've just come out into the corridor and you say, "I've got a question to ask you" and then I don't say *anything*!
[pause]
Bridget Jones: and you say...
Mark Darcy: [pause] Bridget Jones, will you marry me?

Mark Darcy: Bridget, will you stop? Stop staring at me while I'm asleep. Now, find something to do.
Bridget Jones: Sorry.
[Bridget turns away, only to turn back around again to look at Mark]

Mark Darcy: [answers the phone] Hello?
Bridget Jones: It's me. Just wondered how you are.
Mark Darcy: I'm fine thanks. Everything alright with you?
Bridget Jones: Fine, though, er, I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. You do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom.
Mark Darcy: Right, well, thank you. I'm actually with the Mexican Ambassador just at the moment and the Head of Amnesty International and the Under Secretary for Trade and Industry and you're on speakerphone.
Bridget Jones: Oh, right.

Daniel Cleaver: [after fighting and falling into a fountain together] What are you gonna do now? Drown me in sixteen inches of water?
Mark Darcy: [slight pause] Yes, certainly.
[fight resumes]

Mark Darcy: [Bridget gets out of bed covered in a sheet and begins to fumble around] What on Earth are you doing?
Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.
Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business?
Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits.
Mark Darcy: Well now that's a bit pointless, isn't it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.
Bridget Jones: [Bridget's head emerges from the sheet] Really?
Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it's high time we had another look.
[Bridget drops the sheet on the floor]

Bridget Jones: I read that you should never go out with someone if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
Mark Darcy: And can you think of three?
Bridget Jones: Yes.
Mark Darcy: Which are?
Bridget Jones: First off, I embarrass you. I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin , my legs only come up to here and yes I will always be just a little bit fat. And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed!
Mark Darcy: No, hang on! That-that can't be a reason.
Bridget Jones: No, it's not a reason! But you're not perfect either! You look down your nose at absolutely everyone and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate.
[pause]
Bridget Jones: It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room who's- who's so fantastic, just the way she is, that you don't need to fix her.
Mark Darcy: Bridget, this is mad.
Bridget Jones: And perhaps you thought you found her.
[long pause]
Bridget Jones: Do you *want* to marry me?
[awkward silence]
Mark Darcy: Look- I...
Bridget Jones: You see, you can never muster the strength, to fight for me.
[long silence. Mark opens his mouth and closes it again. Bridget walks out]

Daniel Cleaver: [while fighting] You're insane!
Mark Darcy: And you're a disgrace, Cleaver, and you're gonna pay for it!
Daniel Cleaver: Ow, you're pulling my hair! Fuck off, I'm not going in the sodding water!
Mark Darcy: You're going in, Cleaver!
Daniel Cleaver: If I'm going in, you're going in with me, you smug bastard!
[they fall into the fountain]

Mark Darcy: Can I ask you a question Bridget?
Bridget Jones: Of course, any question... as long as it's not, 'Will You Marry Me'.
[pause after looking at Mark's face]
Bridget Jones: Omg, it is isn't it? It's will you Marry me? Ok, no! Wait, pretend that we just came out...
[walks back to the door, opens and closes it]
Bridget Jones: and you asked me if you could ask me a question and I said yes and NOTHING more. Ok, go.
Mark Darcy: Bridget Jones, will you marry me?

Mark Darcy: Are you really pregnant?
Bridget Jones: Well, give it three minutes.
Mark Darcy: What do you fancy? Boy or a girl?
Bridget Jones: l dunno, it doesn't matter.
Mark Darcy: Although, l suppose l've always had the fantasy of a son.
Bridget Jones: Another Mark Darcy.
Mark Darcy: Or maybe something like Huck. Or River. Or some fabulous Hebrew name like Noah. Anyway, l could teach him to play cricket and rugby and visit him at Eton on St Andrew's Day.
Bridget Jones: Eton?
Mark Darcy: Yes. The Darcy men have been going to Eton for five generations.
Bridget Jones: Well, my son's not going to be sent away from home. Especially to some fascist institution where they stick a poker up your arse that you're never allowed to remove again.
Mark Darcy: l see.
Bridget Jones: l didn't mean you.
Mark Darcy: No, of course not. So what's the alternative? Sleeping in his parents' bed, breastfeeding until he's a teenager and some progressive school, where the day is spent singing Yellow Submarine?
Bridget Jones: Oh, you're absolutely right. lt's madness to allow a child to enjoy his education or live with his parents.
Mark Darcy: What is madness is to have a child if his parents can't have a discussion without one shouting at the other.
Bridget Jones: lt's negative.
Mark Darcy: That's too bad.
Bridget Jones: Yes, very sad.