- Gloria Beaumont: [to Jake] I want you to be in charge of the prisons.
- Eli Rockwood: He can't, Jake was just...
- Jake Puloski: Fired!
- Gloria Beaumont: Who the fuck fired you?
- Smitty: I don't think the strippers and blow up dolls were such a good idea.
- Jake Puloski: You're right, next year we'll just get a karaoke machine.
- Security Guard: [seeing Princess on security camera with another dog] She's never done that before, especially on a first date.
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