Only once a year, in the Halloween night, the Museum of the Dead opens its doors. Friends Lisa and Jewel are one of the chosen ones who are allowed to visit this exhibition of absurdities. B... Read allOnly once a year, in the Halloween night, the Museum of the Dead opens its doors. Friends Lisa and Jewel are one of the chosen ones who are allowed to visit this exhibition of absurdities. But instead of some horror and goose bumps that she expects, a group of starved zombies cha... Read allOnly once a year, in the Halloween night, the Museum of the Dead opens its doors. Friends Lisa and Jewel are one of the chosen ones who are allowed to visit this exhibition of absurdities. But instead of some horror and goose bumps that she expects, a group of starved zombies chase the visitors through an almost hopeless labyrinth.
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ultra cheap scenery: some corridors with black tape on it. a few dilettantish drawings and a few skulls as you can find them in every fun-shop. no actors, just low-grade models waking around with absolutely no idea what to do. no effects. laughable make-up, your local hobby-make-up-zombie-fan will do it better, some time it looked as if they had not enough money for enough colour, otherwise they just could not do it like this, man, they have to realize the looks of their "zombies". some laughable martial-arts fights with the zombies, slow-motion. just, when the director wants to have it scary he uses some standard digital-video-cam effect where everything is flackering. unbelievable! 0 out of 10!
Hard as it might be to imagine, Museum of the Dead, directed by James Glenn Dudelson (a name I won't forget in a hurry) is actually worse than Creepshow III, a joyless, scare-free effort boasting the ugliest opening credits ever, terrible editing (used in a desperate attempt to disguise the woeful nature of the practical effects and pitiful action), dreadful performances from a cast of complete nobodies, terrible set design, and thoroughly unconvincing props (plastic joke shop skulls; a magical bracelet that looks like it came from Claire's Accessories; supposedly ancient murals that are as vibrant as the day they were painted—which was most likely the day before shooting).
As far as the action is concerned, anyone brave or stupid enough to pop this worthless sucker into their player will be confronted by the following mind numbingly inane content: endless shots of star Tanya Vidal running through drab corridors (I use the plural, but I suspect that there was really only the one corridor, shot from a variety of angles) which becomes extremely tiresome even though she's wearing a tight vest that accentuates her fine rack; a series of repetitive attacks by crap zombies played by a bunch of losers who can't even shuffle their feet convincingly; and sporadic encounters with a pair of spear-carrying female warriors and a cannibalistic bald dude with blue teeth whose appearance always coincides with a nauseatingly cheap and nasty video effect.
With all of that going on, Museum of the Dead has definitely earned itself a place in my top twenty list of worst horrors, and given how much rubbish I've watched over the years, that's quite the achievement.
Here, people are invited to a Halloween-night only opening of the Museum of the Dead. The museum doesn't have very many exhibits, and they're all sort of ancient central-American related. There are also flesh-eating, infection-spreading zombies in the museum as well as an ancient cannibal warrior and two female warriors.
The movie is very repetitious. It kills people off fairly quickly, to the point you wonder who they're going to have left to kill off - at which point some more people show up without explanation, so that they can be killed.
Amazingly, one of the characters does have a cellphone, and is actually able to call the police, who actually take it seriously and show up at the museum. When one tries to pick the lock to get in, the other tells him that would be "forced entry." If you've got people trapped in a building who are injured, I think that's irrelevant. The cops are also stupid in that when they shoot a zombie in the head, it goes down, but then they shoot other zombies in the chest and they don't go down. They happen to shoot another zombie in the head, and it goes down. They continue to shoot the rest of the zombies in the chest. Stupid.
The opening credits and a nightmare sequence are done in a sort of animation-effect over video, a poor-man's Waking Life sort of thing, but not so cartoonish. It is sort of interesting, however, parts of some of the attacks are done the same way, so there's no logic to it.
Dreadful.
Did you know
- Quotes
Jewel: Long way to a six pack Midas.
Midas: Girl, haven't you heard? The six pack went out with the nineties.
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- Zombie Attack!
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