- Kenny: What have we got here? Have you come to give me a whippin, dad? Have I been that bad?
- [charges Uffizi, who strangles him with his whip]
- Kenny: I'm not what you think!
- Father Uffizi: You're exactly what I think.
- Kenny: Do you want my soul, Father? Do you want my soul? Is that it?
- Father Uffizi: No, God gets your soul. I just want your head.
- [decapitates Kenny]
- Elizabeth Blaine: Who are you?
- Dracula: Who am I? Gilles de Rais, Vlad Tepes, El Hazarid... Dagobert, Proximus, Uther, Caligula... ah, Iscariot... and so many more I've long forgotten.
- Dracula: So noble what you said to the girl. About the sunlight purging her of evil. But she's too far gone and you know it. You know she will die.
- Father Uffizi: Better by her own hand than mine.
- Dracula: I like that. You're more ruthless than I am.
- Kenny: How much more real does it have to get?
- Lowell: We know he's alive, Kenny. We just don't know what's keeping him alive.
- Eric: Or if that essence can be safely transferred to another person.
- Kenny: I just got through planting my best friend in someone's backyard. Excuse me if I don't give a shit. So unless this essence of yours can bring her back, I just want to get my money and get the hell out of here.
- Lowell: Tanya's dead. It doesn't work on dead cells.
- Kenny: No? How does it work, Lowell? Does it work on diseased cells? Would it work on that? How about cells from some poor palsy piece of shit in a wheelchair who...
- [shouts]
- Kenny: Oh, my God! That's you!
- Lowell: You're missing the big picture here.
- Kenny: Sure. You won't be just sitting there with your Nobel prize, you'll be dancing with it.
- Tanya: Maybe we need virgin blood.
- Kenny: [rolls eyes] Why?
- Tanya: Didn't Elizabeth Bathory always bathe in virgin blood?
- Elizabeth Blaine: No, no. Because when my blood touched its skin, it reacted.
- Kenny: There goes the virgin theory.
- [Elizabeth is taking a blood sample from Dracula]
- Dracula: Erzabet..."oath of God" in Hebrew. Is it not? The noble caretaker of the dead, giving names to the nameless, comfort to the damned, and now taker of blood.
- [Elizabeth is surprised that Dracula has no more blood]
- Dracula: What's wrong, bloodsucker? Did you think my blood would be limitless? Better that you protect what you already have than to seek more where there is none.
- Elizabeth Blaine: [while watching vampire blood fix diseased human cells] If it replaces the cells it's killed, when do you stop being you?
- Kenny: It won't change who you are. It'll just make you better. Hell, it'll turn you into fuckin' Superman!
- Luke: Or pure refried evil.
- Elizabeth Blaine: Where've you been?
- Luke: [pulling out bottles of water] Shopping.
- Kenny: You know, evil is just a state of mind, fella. That's all.
- Lowell: He's right, you know. Completely subjective term. Absolutely meaningless in clinical study.
- Luke: Is it? Is this the new you, Lowell? Here's the new you on holy water.
- [Luke pours holy water on Lowell's skin sample soaked with vampire blood and it starts fizzing]
- Kenny: It's acid. You threw fucking acid on it!
- [Luke drinks the holy water]
- Kenny: So, what are you saying?
- Luke: What I'm saying, Kenny, is that that thing out there is a monster. And I'm no better than you, because I'm the one who stole it. But don't pretend it's something else. You know what it is. We all know what it is.
- Luke: We had nothing to do with this!
- Father Uffizi: You had everything to do with this.
- [examines Elizabeth]
- Father Uffizi: You're turning.
- Elizabeth Blaine: [weakly] Leave me alone.
- Father Uffizi: The infection must have been slight to begin with. There's still a way this can be reversed.
- Luke: How?
- Father Uffizi: Sunlight. Take her into the sunlight. Pray that there is enough of what's human to survive the destruction of what's not.
- Luke: [helps Elizabeth up] Okay.
- Father Uffizi: The agony will be unimaginable. No matter how strong her will, in the end, she will fight her way back to the dark side. You must not let her.
- Dracula: Don't you wonder, Priest, ever since you stared into the abyss and saw nothing? Don't you want to know the truth before you take my head?
- Father Uffizi: Silence!
- Dracula: I knew him, knew your Christ. Shared his agony. Bore his secrets.
- Father Uffizi: There's nothing you can tell me that I don't already know in my heart.
- Dracula: I knew him better than anybody, better than his own weeping mother. He loved me like a brother. I can show you how it began and how it will end.
- [Dracula forces images of Christ's execution and Iscariot's suicide into Uffizi's mind]
- Father Uffizi: LIES! LIES! LIES!
- Cardinal Siqueros: If what they say about you is true, then you have committed unspeakable acts.
- Father Uffizi: Then God will judge me, not you.
- Luke: Where's Kenny?
- Eric: Dead! Very dead!
- Luke: You killed him?
- Eric: Yes.
- [Luke aims his spear at Eric]
- Eric: No! No, somebody beat me to it. And that same son of a bitch is coming for us!
- Luke: Just one guy?
- Eric: One guy? One guy?
- Luke: Yes!
- Eric: Yes, one guy! And here's the kicker... he's a bloody priest!
- Luke: A priest?
- Eric: Priest from hell!
- Father Uffizi: [after Luke jams a bottle of holy water into vampire-Eric's faceless, fang-rimmed orifice] I could use somebody like you.