Meat Market

Y'know what really gets my panties in a bunch? When a bad movie comes out, and then the people behind it go around to all the movie websites and pose as fans, leaving tons of "Oh wow, it was wonderful!" messages all over the place. I'm the victim of this sort of crap. I read reviews of Meat Market in a couple of places, and they were drooling with approval and gushing with praise. I encourage you to take a closer look at the other people posting here on IMDB about this and other Sub-Rosa movies. Notice anything familiar upon closer inspection? Yup, you got it. If the movie's any good, why do you think they need to trick people into buying it? Meat Market is a travesty. I bought this puppy because I'm a long-time Zombie film fan, and had heard that MM was supposed to rival Dawn of the Dead in its own way, even though the budget was low and it was technically a B-movie. No biggie, thought I, cuz I love b-movies, too. Eagerly I grab my new purchase and race for home and my trusty DVD player, a fellow movie buff in tow for the shared experience!

Right away I can tell something's wrong. The acting wasn't just bad, it was can't-watch-the-movie-because-the-horrible-acting-is-upstaging-everything-el se kindof bad. Truly horrible. Then I begin to realize that the writing was also at fault. The dialogue was just plain stupid. People simply don't talk that way; another distraction from the "story." I glance over at my friend (we're only a short way in at this point), and he's looking back at me like I just shoved an anthrax-coated toothpick in his eye. Back to the movie... Supposedly, the dead are walking the streets, and people are running for their lives, shooting at the fake zombies if they're lucky enough to have guns. Apparently the zombies only congregate where there are cameras, because the background is still filled with moving cars, and other "normal" aspects of life. Sheesh. Corpses that are "killed" miraculously appear again in other scenes, as do a couple of victims that I was pretty sure had gotten killed a little while ago. The police act like Keystone Kops, the make-up and special effects are just plain horrible. Wanna look like a zombie? Rub some blackout under your eyes and wrinkle your clothing. Viola! Tom Savini would be embarrased. The plot continues to get more bizarre and make absolutely no sense, and while you're still mentally trying to get this atrocity to make sense, you're hit with more strangeness from left field, such as vampires that suddenly appear in skimpy, ridiculous outfits and continually pose for the camera wherever it's at while spewing forth the worst dialogue in stunted, I've-never-acted-before-in-my-life speech.

I can see how this may have looked good on paper as an initial idea. Zombies and vampires, world falling apart, gun-toting survivors, etc. Yeah, sign me up, sounds great. Unfortunately, both the script and the execution of the idea (makeup, effects, acting, dialogue, etc.) are so bad the movie literally isn't watchable. My friend got up halfway through the film, gave me a dirty look like I'd just played the worst dirty trick on him ever, and walked out. I gave it another five minutes and gave up, too. Dirty trick indeed. On us. Do yourself a favor, don't even rent this. Even Mike, Tom Servo, & Crow couldn't sit through this one. You've been warned.

I bought this film without know or having heard anything about it. I was determined to buy SOMETHING that night, and this was the only interesting thing, so i bought it. There are some really great aspects to this film, as well as some really horrible things. It's films like this one that enforce my belief that horror fans should NOT make their own horror movies. And by that, i mean it becomes inevitable that you are gonna try and pay homage to your faves, and throw in your own little inside jokes, and just all around try and be clever when you are, well, not. Also, i know its difficult to pull a budget together, and sometimes we just want to put something of ourselves out there so badly that we are willing to make a lot of compromises. And maybe it's just time for me to expand my mind on this subject, but for now, I CANNOT STAND WATCHING MATERIAL SHOT ON VIDEO!!! There should be some kind of warning on the box or case letting you know how a film is presented. Its just difficult to take a film seriously when it looks like you got a couple of friends together and borrowed you Dads Cam-corder to make a spooky movie. All that said and out of the way, i will say that this film is pretty good. I can honestly say that the filmmaker himself is going to be a fine director someday. The zombie make-up is VERY good. Better than a lot of movies that HAVE found financial backing. The writing is ...o.k... i think it might have come off a little better if a little more detail was paid to the acting (again, the same scenes could be shot on film as opposed to video and might have worked. It's the fault of the medium). One of my favorite pieces of the film is the storyline of Vampire vs. Zombie. I have always wanted to see this conflict in some form. Both undead, but in different ways. The film makes some interesting choices with that storyline, and id like to have seen more conflict there. Another good thing about this film is that it ALMOST never reverts to making fun of the genre or digresses into sophomoric jokes. For the most part, this movie does take itself very seriously, which gives it more integrity. I do recommend this film for zombie lovers, if for nothing else, to glimpse the early work of someone who will most definatly blossom into a great horror director.

Meat Market is a lot more fun in premise than in execution. It's got zombies, guns, blood, lesbian vampires and a Mexican wrestler. Unfortunately, they didn't find much to do with these concepts. There's little to no plot and bad acting, but that's what you should be expecting in this genre. The problem is that in the areas a low budget horror flick should by all means succeed, this one just wandered around, lost and confused as to what it should be doing. They understand there's something funny about a Mexican wrestler fighting zombies, but they can't think of much for him to do besides stand in front of the camera and mumble to himself. The sex scene appears out of nowhere and is entirely unsatisfying. The worst sin, by far, is that the gore effects are uncreative and entirely forgettable. In summary, bad acting and a lacking plot can always be forgiven in low budget movies, but you don't mess up the blood and guts without seriously compromising the film. This movie is just okay.

I'm not sure what to tell you about this film. It's just another crazy home-made zombiefilm with a bunch of bloody effects and bad actors. Its great fun for a day you're really tired and ready for some zombie-action. There is some blood and guts, the make-up effects on the zombies aren't that bad. And there are also some sex scenes. But it's nothing you haven't seen before. The thing about Meat Market is that some scenes work, and some don't. I think that the directors had too high hopes and visions for this movie. They just tried too hard. And you shouldn't do that when making movies with such a low budget as this. So a lot of the stuff in the film just makes you yawn and look at your watch. The story just doesn't seem to work, some of it does. But it just gets stupid after a while, especially when a bunch of vampires starts to show up in the middle of this mess with their lazerguns and long boring vampire stories to tell. It's embarrassing just to think about it. If you want to see a low-budget zombiemovie full of blood and a lot of brain eating zombies then I don't really recommend Meat Market, it's not worth it. If you're interested in the genre I should recommend "Dead Next Door", "Burial Ground" or "The Beyond". If you want to see this film you have got to be really interested in low budget horror.

The music can be quite annoying as well, but it's not that bad in some scenes. It doesn't always fit the situation, but most of it doesn't. It doesn't really have that entire "zombie look" over it. The theme always really fit the genre of the movie. The movie is not an entire crapfest .As I said there is some stuff in it that may interest you. I love to see how other amateur's film make their own stuff. You have got to give them some credit for trying though.

I have said this many times before about an independent no-budget film. But this time I really mean it...I could make a better movie than these guys! And if you have seen my stuff, then I think that speaks for itself. I think what the movie misses "that little extra". It's just the same again and again throughout the whole movie. But Meat Market isn't THAT bad. There are still some good highlights. Even some humour. And if you love stuff that is "so bad it's good" you should check out Meat Market.

Where do you start with something this terrible? Shooting on video is always a good sign of the badness to follow. Why do these 'home movie' enthusiasts never, ever get real actors? Most struggling actors will work for free and they will do a much better job than the producer's buddy. The only entertainment in this is just how bad the sound and editing are. The sounds of 'eating' were added whenever a zombie attacked, but it sounded like they had swallowed the mic. My favorite sound was the audible friction created by the plastic pants on the thunder-thighed lesbo vampires...embarrassing all around. And why wouldn't you (I guess I'm talking to the makers of this) at least read a book on how to write screenplays because there was no discernible story or ending! And, finally, for god's sake spend the money on film school…if you went then go again and pay attention this time!