Kevin Kline credited as playing...
Cole Porter
- Monty Woolley: Cole, he's only an actor but he still may be right. He's tried it 7 times already, the song's a problem.
- Cole Porter: The song is not a problem, it's a challenge. Jack! Jack my boy, how can I help you? Ask me anything.
- Jack: Write another song.
- Cole Porter: Oh God, that cuts me right to the quick. I know it's God awful but it's the best I can do and we open in three days.
- Jack: Where do you get your ideas?
- Cole Porter: I get them all from a little Chinese man in Poughkeepsie.
- Jack: Mr Porter, the song goes so high and so low it's impossible.
- Cole Porter: It's not impossible. I wrote this with you in mind, I can sing it and I have a range of three notes.
- Linda Porter: You knew so much about me when we met, don't you think I'd heard a thing or two about you?
- Cole Porter: So you know that I... that I have other interests... interests some may see as unfair to you?
- Linda Porter: You mean men?
- Cole Porter: Yes, men.
- Linda Porter: Let's just say you like them more than I do.
- Cole Porter: I'm worried about you.
- Linda Porter: You don't need to worry about me or your show. It's all taken care of. I'm in God's hands, the show's in yours. I do wish it were the other way around.
- Linda Porter: What's that?
- Cole Porter: An idea for a song. I think this part would go well with I love you. What do you think?
- Linda Porter: I think that would be beautiful.
- Cole Porter: I do you know.
- Linda Porter: You don't have to love me the way I love you Cole, just love me.
- Cole Porter: It's so easy.
- Linda Porter: Grace personified.
- Cole Porter: Was that me? Because I really hadn't planned on sweeping you off your feet for quite a while.
- Cole Porter: And chorus, keep those consonants crisp. We don't want the audience to think you're saying "an annoying opening for an ugly show". They'll come to that conclusion on their own.
- Cole Porter: I really can't do it justice. Wait until opening night, hear it sung properly.
- Linda Porter: I think it sounds fine now. And I won't be there dear.
- Cole Porter: What? Why wouldn't you be?
- Linda Porter: You know the doctors.
- Cole Porter: I wrote this for you. Why play it if you won't be there?
- Linda Porter: That's why I want you to play it for me now. All the way through.
- Cole Porter: I'm making such a mess trying to say this, I'm glad I'm not trying to write it as a song.
- Linda Porter: It would be a beautiful serenade.
- Cole Porter: Champagne? Or how do you want to play this? Comedy? Tragedy? Musical Comedy? Farce?
- Linda Porter: Why don't we just... play?
- Cole Porter: I think we define "woman" differently. I don't define it as "punching bag", for example.
- Cole Porter: Miss Morrison. The line is "away we go" not "off we go", dear. You couldn't manage to make me hear you before and now that I can hear you, you've got it wrong.
- Linda Porter: I'm so sorry darling. I know how late I must be.
- Cole Porter: Late? Linda you missed the whole thing.
- Linda Porter: Thank you dearest.
- Cole Porter: For what?
- Linda Porter: For all of this. For our future. For being with me with Edward just now.
- Cole Porter: That? That was just pest control. That's all.
- Linda Porter: Your song was absolutely delirious.
- Cole Porter: Thank you. I'm never quite sure if they get the joke, especially when it's on them.
- Linda Porter: You should learn to trust your audience.
- Cole Porter: I trust it. I just wish I could expand it.