Peter and Annie discover that Tim's not graduating from college, but he is sleeping with the next-door neighbor; Todd's cheating on his fiancée, and Sara's developed an odd attachment to a bird.
Peter and Annie are mortified when they discover that people are gossiping about their family. Meanwhile, the kids band together to get out of attending a book drive.
His parents want him to go back to college, but instead Tim decides to get a job at a yogurt shop. Meanwhile, Todd becomes jealous when he discovers Sara earns more money.
Sara attempts to act rebellious by stealing and sexually assaulting the office mail boy. Meanwhile, Peter learns a factoid about fish consumption and tries to lord it over Annie.
When Tim makes Thanksgiving plans with Maggie's parents, Annie decides to throw their Thanksgiving celebration early, but each family member's own agendas interfere with the special day.
When Peter's mother comes to visit, she tells her son that Tim has an Oedipus complex with Annie. Meanwhile, Todd and Sara decide that rather than toasting their grandmother at her birthday party, they should roast her.
Annie tries to convince Tim that he doesn't actually want to get married; Sara romanticizes what it's like to be a bride; and Todd butts heads with Peter's new assistant, Alex.
When the kids clean out the garage, Todd and Sara each discover hurtful high school secrets. Meanwhile, Peter decides to make friends with the husband of one of Annie's girlfriends.
When Don, Sara's new boyfriend, accidentally kills her beloved pet bird, Eric Wasserman, Peter encourages Don to lie about it. Meanwhile, Tim realizes he has a thing for older women when his new boss comes on to him.
After Peter grosses out Todd with an old sex story, Annie worries that their love life has gotten stale. Meanwhile, Todd tries to get even with a rival dentist by having Tim dress as a giant tooth.
When she sees her hugging another woman, Annie jumps to the conclusion that Sara's a lesbian. Elsewhere, Alex helps Tim get even with Todd by ransacking his apartment.
Annie drags Peter to couple's counseling after he threatens her costar in a play. Meanwhile, Tim goes to great lengths to hide his termination of employment from Sara.
Annie asks the kids to each write a personal letter to her as a birthday gift, but Tim refuses. Meanwhile, Sara starts a war over parking with Peter, and Alex struggles with her newfound feelings for Todd.
