4 reviews
With this kind of movie, one cannot be too critical, as long as there are lots of attractive nude women who enjoy each other, that's the point of these movies. So you kinda need attractive nude women.
Babes in Kongland is some odd mixture of 3 different movies. One involves male scientists who are doing some research. They are supposed to provide comic relief. (they aren't). The other involves one dirty-looking blond and a chubby ugly brunette playing with each other a lot. Here we get to see plenty of the blond's body, but thankfully not much of the brunette's. The final and longest sequence involves five topless girls on an island who have the hots for a guy in a monkey suit. Of the five, 2 are attractive and only one these has a decent body. The rest are ugly and don't have to body for this movie. Odly enough they never go past being topless, although some of them are quite affectionate to each other for a few seconds. Of these 3 segments neither one is watchable let alone enjoyable. You'll find yourself putting this thing on mute and fast-forwarding most of it.
This being the first DVD release of Secret Key one has to be worried about what the rest will be like, although some of the trailers look very promising- I take it they will have a different production team. I can't think of one reason to recommend this mess, unless you are attracted to women of fuller figures but who lack chest size.
Babes in Kongland is some odd mixture of 3 different movies. One involves male scientists who are doing some research. They are supposed to provide comic relief. (they aren't). The other involves one dirty-looking blond and a chubby ugly brunette playing with each other a lot. Here we get to see plenty of the blond's body, but thankfully not much of the brunette's. The final and longest sequence involves five topless girls on an island who have the hots for a guy in a monkey suit. Of the five, 2 are attractive and only one these has a decent body. The rest are ugly and don't have to body for this movie. Odly enough they never go past being topless, although some of them are quite affectionate to each other for a few seconds. Of these 3 segments neither one is watchable let alone enjoyable. You'll find yourself putting this thing on mute and fast-forwarding most of it.
This being the first DVD release of Secret Key one has to be worried about what the rest will be like, although some of the trailers look very promising- I take it they will have a different production team. I can't think of one reason to recommend this mess, unless you are attracted to women of fuller figures but who lack chest size.
A mad scientist and horny fat geek assistant are testing out a new invention when the scientist is transported to the Planet of the erotic ape. Oh god no!! When I got this I had no clue that Lou Vockell was behind it, I swear. Go read my review of "Hookers in a Haunted House" and then you'll have an inkling of how horrible THIS one likely is. I think I found a worse comedy then either "Hookers in a haunted House" or "Not Anther Teen Movie" combined. Horrid jokes, unerotic fake sex scenes (the girls keep their panties on AND have cellulite) and too much padding. The good news is it's only about an hour. The bad news is that it's about an hour!
My Grade: F
DVD Extras: Second movie "Dream Witch"; Sub Rosa Trailer Reel featuring Tim Ritter's productions; and Sub Rosa Extreme trailer Reel
My Grade: F
DVD Extras: Second movie "Dream Witch"; Sub Rosa Trailer Reel featuring Tim Ritter's productions; and Sub Rosa Extreme trailer Reel
- movieman_kev
- Jan 26, 2005
- Permalink
Worst porno ever! I registered on this site just to add my vote (1). Guys, you ever find yourself a little desperate at closing time and say to yourself "I'll just take home the next chick I see" then the next one you see makes you think "OK, the NEXT chick I see I'll take home". That is what the movie is full of, women so horrible you wouldn't take home drunk and desperate. I'll make one amendment; there was one attractive woman, but she was the only one to leave her cloths during the movie. In fact she almost seemed like she had done it on a dare since she just stood in the background and giggled most of the time. I understand this was supposed to be a parody of a "sexploitation" type film, but it simply failed to be anything but bad.
- craptastic06
- Mar 27, 2007
- Permalink
PLANET OF THE EROTIC APE (extras are BRIDE OF THE GORILLA with Lon Chaney Jr. and Raymond Burr) - Starring Jenny Wallace(Vamps),Julie Strain(Heavy Metal) and Monique Gabrielle(Problem Child 3)."Charleton Heston would have preferred the duties of making this film, NRA be damned !". ...Imagine there is this mad scientist and he gets transported to a planet of women, Whose only Male release (If you will) is a Ape ! The scenes are mostly vignettes of girl/girl action with some highlights of girls going solo. Vockell gets a boatload of use from these segments of strippers , Doing their acts and build whole dvds around them with a humorous bridge of a story line - Bravo !