John Travolta credited as playing...
Chili Palmer
- Raji: Man in the suit. You in town for some kind of convention?
- Chili Palmer: No, but if I was, you'd be the man to see, am I right?
- Raji: Why would you say something like that?
- Chili Palmer: The way you're dressed, you're either a pimp or a limo driver.
- Raji: We've got jokes? You some kind of a weak-ass comedian?
- Chili Palmer: Raji, look at me.
- Raji: I'm looking at you, man!
- Chili Palmer: You say you're looking at me, but are you really looking at me?
- Raji: I'm really looking at you. You got something stupid to say? Say it, so I can be done with you.
- Chili Palmer: Linda's quit. She's out of The Chicks
- Raji: Man, miss me with that. She's got five years left in her contract.
- Chili Palmer: Well, I've just canceled it.
- Raji: You come walking out of the dark. Who are you supposed to be?
- Chili Palmer: I'm the one setting you straight. I'm Linda's new manager.
- Chili Palmer: You know unless you're willing to use the R-rating you can only use the f-word once?
- Tommy Athens: You're kidding me.
- Chili Palmer: No. You know what I say? Fuck that.
- Chili Palmer: What's this movie about?
- Tommy Athens: Me!
- Chili Palmer: I couldn't even get your mother to watch that movie.
- Edie Athens: Hey, look. Steven Tyler's in town.
- Chili Palmer: Yeah.
- Edie Athens: Aerosmith playing at the Staples Center. Tell me Dream On is not the greatest rock and roll song you have ever heard.
- Chili Palmer: You know what we oughta do? We oughta call him.
- Edie Athens: Call who?
- Chili Palmer: Steven.
- Edie Athens: Why?
- Chili Palmer: So he could listen to Linda's music, he could see for him self that it's terrific, and maybe he'll help us launch her career at his concert.
- Edie Athens: That's a great idea, Chill.
- Chili Palmer: Yeah.
- Edie Athens: Hey, and maybe Bono and Sting will come down and we could all cut a Christmas album.
- Chili Palmer: You know him, don't you?
- Edie Athens: Know him? Steven Tyler? Chili, I know his socks.
- Chili Palmer: Edie, you have a tattoo of Aerosmith on your ass. You can't get a meeting with him? We want Steven Tyler, we'll get Steven Tyler.
- [from trailer]
- Chili Palmer: [about a Honda Insight] It's the Cadillac of hybrids.
- Martin Weir: But what about speed?
- Chili Palmer: If you're important, people will wait.
- Fast Freddie: Who are all these people trying to kill you?
- Chili Palmer: I don't know. I'm in the music business now. It could be anybody.
- [Sin LaSalle and the DubMD's are standing in front of Chili Palmer's Insight]
- Sin LaSalle: Well, imagine the odds, me and my crew was just out getting' some Mongolian barbecue and we stumble across your ol' weak ass ride.
- Chili Palmer: Did you leave any food in Mongolia?
- Chili Palmer: How many miles to the gallon to you get on those Hummers, about 12?
- Dabu: Nine.
- Sin LaSalle: Dabu! Thank you, Mr. Goodwrench.
- Chili Palmer: Evening, gentlemen. Interesting choice of music.
- Sin LaSalle: "That cold black cloud's comin' down." Gotta love Dylan, man. Biograph. It's a great album. You know, we wouldn't have this song without it.
- Chili Palmer: But we would've. Because, you see, Dylan wrote that originally for that Peckinpah movie with James Coburn.
- Sin LaSalle: You're in no position to correct me.
- Chili Palmer: It was to a soundtrack. Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.
- Dabu: Yup. Same song they played when Slim Pickens died in his wife's arms. Right?
- Chili Palmer: This man knows his westerns.
- Dabu: Good movie.
- Sin LaSalle: [Sarcastically] Gentlemen, thank you very much for that VH1 moment in music history.
- Chili Palmer: [after seeing Raji in a Mink covered coat and hat] Well, if it isn't Flea Diddy.
- Raji: Man, don't be comin' in here pretendin' you know anything about rap.
- Chili Palmer: Oh, but I know more about rap than you do. I bet you don't even know who the Sugarhill Gang is.
- Raji: But, I know who the Bust Da Cap In Yo Ass Gang is.
- Chili Palmer: [gets up]
- Tommy Athens: Hey, wait. Where are you going?
- Chili Palmer: I'm going to the men's. I just had two ice teas.
- Tommy Athens: Hey, Chil. How does the movie sound?
- Chili Palmer: Well, you don't have a movie yet. You have a setting and a premise. But you don't have character arcs or a plot
- Tommy Athens: [while Chili is going to the restroom] Hey, who will play me? Think about that.
- Chili Palmer: [turns around] What about Carrot Top?
- Martin Weir: Hey, Chili, is that your car?
- Chili Palmer: Yeah, it's an Insight, it's the 'Cadillac of Hybrids.'
- Martin Weir: A little tight for a big guy like you.
- Chili Palmer: Small price to pay for the environment.
- [from trailer]
- Linda Moon: That's my manager, Roger.
- Chili Palmer: He talks like that?
- Linda Moon: He thinks he's black.