User reviews

I can't believe anybody would even attempt to pass this crap off as film-making, as it more closely resembles one man's obsession with dumping $110,000 down the toilet. There are definitely more "honorable" ways to spend money, such as funding a heroin addiction or indulging in hundreds and hundreds of lap dances. I don't even remember the film having a coherent plot, nor the actors being able to carry the movie past the opening frames...in fact, I won't even dignify the actors' performances by using their names. The lead actor gives what can only be described as an affecting performance...and by that I mean he induces coma. The lead actress is fairly easy on the eyes, but still manages to make you cringe with every line of dialogue or her "deer in headlights" facial expressions. Please watch at your own risk.

Truly the cinematic equivalent of a padded cell. After Redlettermedia reviewed this film I decided to watch it myself. I was on medicinal THC and muscle relaxants at the time of screening and I ended up having an anxiety attack from watching it. The attack was that bad I was convinced goblins were coming out of my loungeroom floor and pinned me down, preventing me from turning the film off.

That aside, I was deeply disappointed that Garrett didn't follow in his brother's footsteps and have more random inexplicable testicle squeezing (The Satan Killer, 1993). This would be made the experience more funny.

"YOU'RE TOO MUCH MAN FOR ME, COP MAN!" - Jay Bauman.

-Looks like it was shot for TV in the '70s -Characters that suck -Horrible performances -Man who made a movie just to be around young women that he found attractive -Lack of plot -Awful editing -Intrusive score -Lets you know the Mary-Sue protagonist goes to church and is therefore a good man (although he's a cop, so, by the movie's logic, we should already understand this implicitly) This movie has everything! Apparently I still have *checks counter* 321 characters left before I can post this review. What more is there to say, though? I seriously am having a hard time justifying the rest of this review, which needs to have another 133 characters in it. Don't watch this movie. Just avoid it. It's awful.

The life and loves of a bland middle-aged cop who for some reason is irresistible to young hot girls. The lead has absolutely no personality or charisma. He delivers his lines in an expressionless wimpy monotone, walks in and out of scenes stiff and uncomfortable, plus he looks and acts just like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory which is a huge distraction. Definitely the directors male fantasy project. Overall the acting is beyond terrible, the music is lower than porn quality, the editing is choppier than an Atlantic nor'easter, and all the softly spoken dubbed-in dialogue and foley will put you to sleep.