- Mrs. Beady: Randall, There is a cow outside.
- Mr. Beady: This is a cow farm. You're gonna find cows outside.
- Pizza Delivery Guy: Dude, I got a ARM!
- Pizza Delivery Guy: Yah, Righteous!. Doodley Doodley Doo Doo!
- Otis the Cow: [Miles has kicked the farmer unconscious a third time] WILL YOU... STOP... DOING... THAT?
- Miles the Mule: Well, unless you get him a blindfold, I'm gonna kick him!
- Ben the Cow: Grey market goods. As if I needed to say it again, the purchase of human articles from the gopher underground is strictly prohibited.
- Otis the Cow: [Otis cellphone] HELLO MOTO!
- [start to play the Motorola tune, Otis coyly answers]
- Gopher: Hey, Otis!
- [giggles]
- Gopher: Listen, I think your Nikes are...
- Otis the Cow: [whispering] Yeah, this, really isn't the best time...
- Pig the Pig: [watching Daisy giving birth] Man, that looks like it hurts.
- Duke the Dog: Oh, that's very profound, 'Insight Man'.
- Pig the Pig: Well excuse me for being a pig!
- Freddy the Ferret: [the unconscious farmer has discovered the animals] He knows too much! We gotta take care of him. We gotta whack him!
- Otis the Cow: There will be NO WHACKING! Okay? The farmer's a good guy! He's been good to us.
- Miles the Mule: He's a vegan! God bless him.
- Pig the Pig: And, uh, what is a vegan again?
- Freddy the Ferret: Oh, I know this one...
- Pip the Mouse: Naw, I got it... it means you can't eat anything with a face.
- Peck the Rooster: No, no, that's a vegetarian.
- Pig the Pig: Vegetarians have to eat in the dark, right?
- Duke the Dog: That's a VAMPIRE. C'mon!
- Pip the Mouse: You can't eat cheese?
- Bessy the Cow: It's not just cheese, vegans can't have ANY dairy products.
- Peck the Rooster: Cake?
- Pig the Pig: Cake has egg products...
- Pip the Mouse: But you can't have any dairy!
- Freddy the Ferret: No dairy? But I LOVE dairy! Does that mean I can't be a vegan?
- Pig the Pig: I love the smell of bacon! There, I said it.
- [the animals all gasp as the farmer awakens and reacts. Miles kicks him in the head a second time]
- Otis the Cow: WOULD YOU NOT DO THAT?
- Miles the Mule: It's not like we have a lot of options.
- Mrs. Beady: Nathan Randall the third, I am not crazy, I am medicated for a chemical imbalance, don't you sit there and think that I am crazy.
- Daisy the Cow: [feels her stomach] Oh, my... I think, the baby's coming!
- Otis the Cow: WHAT?
- Daisy the Cow: [giggles] I made you jump.
- Otis the Cow: Oh, thank you. Very much. I swallowed my cud!
- Daisy the Cow: [laughs, then looks up at the stars] It's so... beautiful...
- Otis the Cow: My cud?
- Eddy the Cow: [Otis and the Jersey cows are running from the cops] Two all-beef patties! That's our future!
- Dag the Coyote: [after taking down Otis] Well, look at the hero! You thought you could come into my den! Now, why don't you lay there and watch while we eat your friends.
- [laughs evilly]
- Mrs. Beady: [Sees her car on the news] It's our car! There was a huff. There's a cow in our car that is a hoof!
- [Dials 911]
- Mrs. Beady: Yes, this is Nora Beady. What do you mean what now? My car is on TV and I think there's a cow in it, and I saw a cow outside my window. I think they may be linked.
- Ben the Cow: Hello, son.
- Otis the Cow: Dad, I've been thinking, and well I'm willing to accept your apology.
- Ben the Cow: [smiling] Really.
- Otis the Cow: Sure, I mean it's only right. I mean... Okay. Uhh... I don't mean to let you down, Pop. I'm just out trying to have some fun.
- Ben the Cow: [looking up at the stars] It's a beautiful night. I remember when I used to sit out here with your sister.
- Otis the Cow: I don't have a sister.
- Ben the Cow: Oh, yeah.
- [Rubbing Otis' head]
- Ben the Cow: That was you, wasn't it?
- [They both laugh]
- Otis the Cow: Thank you, all right. So. Are we okay?
- Ben the Cow: [touches his shoulder] We're okay.
- Otis the Cow: Great. See, 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. Uh, my friends are all going to the barn tonight, and not that it matters either way to me, but evidently, I'm needed. I'm sort of an integral part of a musical number.
- [Puts jar of fireflies on his head]
- Otis the Cow: Yeah, I tried to tell them no, you know? But they were just so.. Yeah, I told them... I told, my dad's not going to want to cover my shift I mean it's my shift, not his. It isn't his! You know? I don't want to be selfish. What's mine is mine, and... What do you think?
- Ben the Cow: Otis. I never thought I was going to amount to much. And I certainly didn't think I'd be in charge of anything. But that all changed one day. It was the day you showed up. I head out into the meadow and I see this little baby calf all alone, stumbling around. You know, before you became a nightmare. Well, I took you home that night, and I know it doesn't sound possible, but I looked up into the sky and I would have swore I saw the stars dance. At that moment, I knew my place was here, taking care of things. I guess you helped me realize that. I love you, son. You still want to go don't you?
- Otis the Cow: Yeah, I really do. Uh, not that your stuff... . Y-You know, the stuff you're saying isn't nifty and everything...
- Ben the Cow: No one says nifty.
- Otis the Cow: I say nifty, I do and sometimes even swifty I'll stay that
- Ben the Cow: Very impressive. Go ahead, have fun. I'll cover your shift.
- Otis the Cow: Thanks, Pop. You're the best.
- Barn Boys: Now, every heifer, every cow, hold tight to your udders now/Farmer Brown is beddin' down, let's turn this barn to Funkytown/Chickens on the left, dance with your neighbor, Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table/Try to go easy on the manure, it's a dance floor, not a sewer
- Duke the Dog: Order, here! Hey, am I bothering you? Let's get this meeting started.
- Peck the Rooster: Duke, who's gonna run the meeting?
- Duke the Dog: That's what the meeting's about.
- Freddy the Ferret: The meeting's about finding someone to run the meeting? Is that a good idea?
- Pip the Mouse: We should take a meeting about it.
- Duke the Dog: Someone has to do this. We don't have Ben. Therefore, I would like to nominate myself.
- [the others begin expressing their disdain]
- Duke the Dog: Dogs are... Listen to me. Dogs are watchful, they're loyal, and very protective.
- Pip the Mouse: And they lick themselves. I don't a leader who licks himself.
- Peck the Rooster: Me neither.
- Pig the Pig: I can't even reach mine.
- Duke the Dog: I don't do that.
- [Awkward silence]
- Duke the Dog: Anymore. One time, I was bored, lonely and a little snacknish.
- Pig the Pig: Yeah, I saw you drink out of a toilet once.
- [in sing-song voice]
- Pig the Pig: Hey, you drink potty water!
- Peck the Rooster, Freddy the Ferret, Pip the Mouse, Pig the Pig: You drink potty water!
- Duke the Dog: My bowl was empty, my friend. Come on, we're getting off track here.
- Miles the Mule: Duke, with all respect, I think there are certain traits that would make you unqualified to be leader.
- [Miles kicks the farmer in the face with his leg]
- Otis the Cow: What did you do that for?
- Miles the Mule: What else was I gonna do? He saw you.
- Otis the Cow: You coulda killed him!
- Freddy the Ferret: Yeah, hi. Hey there. Having a good day? So, uh, this was Otis' idea?
- Peck the Rooster: Oh, yeah. We're like the second line of defense. We see or hear anything suspicious, and I just signal Otis with a crow. Oh, oh, and I've really been working on it. Listen.
- [he clears his throat, then crows weakly for much longer, then squeaks]
- Peck the Rooster: Well, you-you know, in the moment, it'll be really strong. But for now, we just stand watch.
- Freddy the Ferret: Yeah, watch.
- [Freddy has a vision, the hens turn into rotisserie-style whole chicken meats]
- Freddy the Ferret: [vision] Come and get it!
- [dings the triangle]
- Freddy the Ferret: [the camera zooms back into reality]
- Peck the Rooster: Freddy? You okay?
- Freddy the Ferret: BONELESS WHITE MEAT! What? I'm not hungry! I mean, I don't wanna eat anyone... thing... you... uh...
- [slaps himself in the face]
- Freddy the Ferret: What happened? What? What, what?
- Dag the Coyote: [grabs a hen and shushes her, turns around] Good evening, ladies. Sorry to call on you so late in the evening, but we did have a previous engagement.
- [laughs evilly and takes out a chicken feet keychains]
- Dag the Coyote: Now we're gonna take 6 of you. Anyone makes a sound, we don't mind the extra company.
- [turns to his coyotes]
- Dag the Coyote: Boys, take your pick.
- Etta the Hen: You won't be taking any hens tonight.
- Dag the Coyote: [growls at Etta] And you're gonna stop us? Hmm? Is that what's gonna happen? Are you gonna stop us, hen? How are you gonna do that, huh?
- [laughs evilly]
- Etta the Hen: No. *He* is.
- [points at Ben]
- Dag the Coyote: [turns his head to find Ben] Ben. How are you, Ben? Yeah, we would've said hello had we seen ya.
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