Antonio Banderas credited as playing...
Puss in Boots
- Shrek: I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happened?
- Puss in Boots: Allow me to explain. When a man falls in love with a woman, he is overcome with powerful urges...
- Shrek: I know how it happened! I just can't believe it.
- Donkey: [to Puss] How does it happen?
- Puss in Boots: How can you be a reciever of the wedgies, when you are clearly not a wearer of the underpants?
- Donkey: Let's just say some things are better left unsaid.
- Puss in Boots: [after switching bodies with Donkey] Ye haw.
- Donkey: Oh, you'll learn to control that!
- [Snickers]
- Puss in Boots: If he were real, could I do this?
- [Digs claws into Shrek's leg, Shrek tries to hold in his pain]
- Shrek: Ah! Oww!
- Donkey: Or this?
- [Kicks Shrek's other leg, Shrek moans]
- Shrek: If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful.
- Donkey: Now watch this!
- Shrek: [Restrains Donkey and Puss] That's quite enough, boys!
- Donkey: [Donkey and Puss in Boots have switched bodies] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting second-rate sidekick!
- Puss in Boots: At least you don't look like a bloated roadside piñata. You really need to go on a diet.
- Donkey: And you really need to get yourself a pair of pants! I feel all exposed and nasty!
- Puss in Boots: [after Shrek throws Donkey out the door] Some people just don't understand boundaries.
- [Shrek then throws Puss out. Puss does his cat screech, then the eyes]
- Puss in Boots: [Puss says to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...
- [loud horn blast]
- Puss in Boots: [talking to a female kitten] It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life.
- Female kitty cat: Meeaow.
- Puss in Boots: [to several kitty cats] As are you... And, uh, you... And, oops, you... And I... err... I don't know you but I'd like to.
- A bunch of female kitty cats: Meeaow.
- Puss in Boots: I gotta go!
- Artie: Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
- Puss in Boots: That information is on a need to know basis.
- Donkey: It's top secret. Hushity-hush.
- Puss in Boots: Okay, peoples. This isn't a rehearsal. Let's see some hustle!
- Donkey: Smiles, everyone! Smiles!