- Kevin: Uh, okay, this is, uh, Agent Kinnealy. Please advise, I just made BM in the back of a cab.
- Liliana Morales: Uh, you did what in the back of the cab?
- Kevin: Big Momma! I just made Big... I saw Big Momma in the back of a cab, and now I'm going to get VD... Visual data. I'm going... Never mind.
- Big Momma: Ooh! We got a gusher! Oh, my goodness! Oh, this is the last time I feed this boy pickled pig's feet.
- Fuller's Secretary, Lucy: You're going to change his diaper right here?
- Big Momma: Uh, yes, but don't worry. I'll contain the seepage, okay? I just hope your hard drives are backed up.
- Fuller's Secretary, Lucy: Mr. Fuller has a bathroom in his office.
- Leah Fuller: If you'd checked the schedule you would've seen that Carrie had a violin lesson, and Andrew had tutoring.
- Malcolm: Tutoring? He's only 2 years old.