Last Rites

In a nut shell, Latino and black gangsters hole-up in a warehouse while homeless Zombies rage outside.

Too many gangster clichés, not enough Zombie action. Long, loud and repetitive periods of testosterone posturing coulda been spiced up by a few unique characters. I won't spoil it, but there was one potentially cool twist that came too late and fell flat when it was finally revealed.

This movie could have said something about Los Angeles, said something about about racism, or at least delivered some scares. It missed on all 3 counts. It's too bad, because a few of the performers brought more to their characters than the script gave them to work with.

The plot: Different groups of inner city L.A. stereotypes collide in a warehouse during a zombie attack.

The film is very low budget, and the filmmakers were not particularly resourceful, creative, disturbing, or weird. Instead, they fall back to clichés, stereotypes, and hack writing, then insert hints of social criticism. I'm not really impressed. As a horror fan, I have a certain degree of tolerance for bad acting, bad effects, and poor writing. Low budgets really don't bother me. However, this film has very little to recommend it, besides the fact that Reggie Bannister has a cameo. If you've seen Night of the Living Dead, Street Trash, Assault on Precinct 13, or Reservoir Dogs, I think you'll be pretty bored by this retread. There's no reason why low budget B films can't be trailblazers despite their limitations. However, this film slavishly follows all the rules, endlessly homages/rips off its influences, and has no surprises for veteran horror fans. Its like a Troma film, but without all the over-the-top aspects that make those awful films enjoyable.

It's not a total waste, though. Some of the gore, special effects, and stunts are passable. It's got a rare starring role for Noel G., but he unsurprisingly plays yet another obnoxious Latino gangster. There's some clichéd social criticism, but they really missed out on an opportunity to make some intelligent and insightful statements on racism, police brutality, intolerance, and violence. Instead, it settles on the same clichéd elements as every other direct-to-video zombie film, where stereotypes bicker and shout at each other for 90 minutes while occasionally being eaten by zombies.

Watchable for zombie fans -- but not recommended. Instead, try a French horror film called La Horde, which rose above its stereotypes and clichés to be a gory, fun, and memorable B movie with some interesting things to say about racism and police brutality... amid zombie carnage.

Hi there. This is going to be one of my shortest reviews ever. Normally, I like to go into the plot, acting, direction of even the worst movies. However in this ones case I'll make an exception. You see, this film while being known as Last Rites in the USA is called 48 Weeks Later in the UK. There are lots of great quotes on the packaging like "DAWN OF THE DEAD EAT YOUR HEART OUT" and "THE BUMS ARE EATING THE COPS" (??) but these have little or nothing to do with what is contained within. Yes folks, if you buy this trash then you have been well and truly stitched up, as the only way it resembles Danny Boyle's original and its sequel is the final two words of the title. That's it. Thankfully I only borrowed it from a friend, I didn't make the mistake of wasting money on this rip-off.

There are hardly any zombies, no decent head explosions and most definitely no flesh eating viruses. No, what this you see is a modern blaxploitation film, and a pretty rubbish one at that. So, if you want to spend 90 minutes watching black actors running around a badly lit warehouse, shooting blanks at each other while talking like illegitimate sons of Shaft, be my guest. You'll also be giving the film company licence to mislabel any product in the future in the hope that they'll make an easy buck out of gullible saps like you. What next... Predator as a romantic comedy? Titanic as a ship navigational guide? Gigli as an Oscar winning masterpiece? Remember, it may be your money you're wasting, but it could have devastating implications for all of us. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

In the meantime, this waste of a perfectly good disc gets a 1/10 and a one way ticket to ebay. Starting bid: 1p. Hope my mate can find a gullible sap to take it off his hands. Oh, aren't I a hypocrite...

Gangs of the Dead (2006)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Also known as LAST RITES, this film was re-titled and thrown on DVD and is yet another stab at the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD line with some ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 thrown in for good measure. A group of homeless people are standing around when a meteor crashes on them and turns them into flesh eating zombies. A black gang and a Latino gang, rivals, take shelter in a warehouse with two white cops. The mixed group not only must battle the zombies but also each other. There's some nice stuff here but in the end I couldn't help but be bored by this because we've seen the zombie side of things so many times. I did think it was interesting seeing the two rival gangs having to deal with one another but this stuff didn't work as well as it could have because the screenplay mostly has them shouting things at one another and calling each other the "B" word. The performances aren't Oscar-worthy but all the actors fill their roles fine and deliver the type of performances you'd expect. The CGI effects are all rather obvious and that includes all the fake blood and guts being thrown around. Zombie fans might be attracted to the (new) title but they've pretty much seen everything here in much better movies.

I've watched so many modern day zombie films that have the same plot as Night of the Living Dead that I've produced a template we all can use.

Delete as necessary: A (meteor/satellite/witchdoctor/evil book/bad sandwich/particularly powerful fart) raises the dead, resulting in some (marines/drug dealers/teachers/dancers/elephants/British 70s TV entertainers) to barricade themselves in a (warehouse/farmhouse/underground bunker/hotel/shopping mall/portable toilet/suitcase) which results in much arguing. They are safe until one of them (gets bitten/tries to break out/tries to retrieve a dog/farts and the rest have to escape/tries to give a zombie a wedgie) until the cast is whittled down until (they all get killed/one escapes/they find the world overrun/start a break dancing contest with the zombies). Also features a cameo by (Bruce Campbell/Jeffrey Coombs/Reggie Bannister/Keith Chegwin/Peter Sutcliffe).

Also, it looks like the director of photography's watched Blade Runner and Battlefield Eart too often, judging by the lighting and camera angles. The acting's fairly dodgy and more people are killed by humans than zombies. This is a run of the mill zombie film and if you go in expecting that, you might like it. Or not. It is what it is.