Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Stan Smith • Roger the Alien
- Steve Smith: [Steve is reciting a clearly staged declaration of patriotism while in front of Stan's camera] Basking in the cozy bosom of America's freedom.
- [He attempts to pick his nose, but Stan swats his hand away]
- Steve Smith: You know, a lot of kids my age take our liberty for granted.
- [He attempts to pick his nose again, but Stan stops him a second time]
- Stan Smith: [whispering angrily] Stop it!
- Steve Smith: But fortunately, I have two parents of opposite sexes who are heterosexually married and...
- [He attempts to pick his nose a third time. Stan can't take it anymore and grabs his hand, interrupting his speech]
- Stan Smith: Stop it! what are you, a monkey?
- Stan Smith: That's Roger. He's not some alien we're hiding in our attic. He's, uh, he's my cousin. He looks like this because he... smoked a marijuana cigarette... once. That's all it takes kids.
- [He then ushers Roger out of the room]
- Stan Smith: His head's swelled up like a melon. No more hats for him. Who's his favorite baseball team? We'll never know.
- Roger: What are you talking about? You know I love the Padres. Go Padres!