Squidbillies (2005–2021)

Dana Snyder: Granny, Granny Cuyler, Ganny Cuyler

Quotes 

• Granny : Don't you dare hurt him!

  Earlie Cuyler : Oh, and what's your saggy mouth gonna say about it?

  Granny : Ablomandelebicus, Pentoculus, Benturpenoise, Farntormion, Crisco, Dophenecta, Glabbafontonion, Smectarufus, Fontanox, Chicken Dance, Trenoctor, Pontallafamarion, Tudonox, Mellicanisis!

  [the walls of the house open up and Earlie is struck by lightning] 

  Earlie Cuyler : You lucky bitch! That's the one thing you could have said.

• Granny : When Jesus was president he ate babies all the time.

• Granny : Hooray, magic Jesus!

• Earlie Cuyler : Dear lord... please allow this dangerous combination of hair spary, bat slobber, and D.O.T. four automatic transmission fluid to excite my mind, occupy my spirits, and enrage my body, provoking me to kick any man or woman in the back of the head regardless of what he or she has or has not done unto me. All my Best, Earlie Cuyler.

  Granny : Seems to me if you bought your Sunday beer on Saturday night, this becomes a complete non-issue.

  Earlie Cuyler : ...Inconvenient.