Jeff Sproul credited as playing...
Dick • Bible Thumper
- Baio: So uh, what can you do?
- Dick: I don't know. I guess I'll just have to wing it. I mean I really really like her but I've never been in a situation like this before you know.
- Baio: You mean not in a situation where you weren't paying.
- Dick: Yeah fuck you funny guy. I'm just saying that I don't know how to act in a situation like this, ya know? And don't give me none of that just be natural bullshit cause that shit don't fly. This isn't an episode of Friends fucker!
- Baio: Okay dick this is just a little social outing. No big fucking deal.
- Dick: It is a big deal man. I'm turning 30 in a few months. I haven't even gotten a fucking blowjob yet or a hand job. Never mind a full on fuck. It's been a self service existence so far and I need full service, ya know what I'm saying? I mean there was this stripper one time but she was a little too extreme . She wanted me to lick her asshole and shit. Alittle too much for a beginner.
- Baio: Perhaps, but on the other hand you can shit or get off my pot motherfucker. I mean we've heard this shit 1313 different fucking ways. I mean get on with it or shut the fuck up about it.
- Dick: I'm just shy dude
- Baio: No more of your fairy stories alright. I've got my own fucking worries today.
- Dick: Man I'm afraid that the next time I step in this car it's going to explode and kill us all.
- Baio: I don't see you driving any fucking car DICK! I just hear you talking about your fucking dick but NO I've got this fucking car to deal with and this fucking dick and this fucking car won't fucking work right. Get the fuck going. Goddamn this fucking car!
- Sally Thorn: Cool, this is so cool. Thanks for inviting me dick
- Dick: The pleasure is all mine.
- Baio: And that's why these things never work out Dick. The pleasure should be a mutual experience you greedy prick. What's good for the goose is extremely good for the Gander. Use that bullshit chivalry where it counts. Do unto her as you would have her do unto you. Reciprocate unless you want to masturbate. Reciprocate RECIPROCATE!
- Dick: What the fuck are you babbling about?
- Sally Thorn: yeah what the hell was all that dribble about.
- Baio: I don't know, I'm just trying to keep my mind off this fucking autistic automobile.