Creepshow 3

Creepshow is the best horror film ever made. Creepshow 2 was at least decent. This 2006 effort (I use that word kindly) is utterly useless. Containing no feel from the original, an obvious bare-bones budget, and thoroughly disappointing actors, Creepshow III (it should not be able to use the name) simply stinks. Fans of the first two should watch this only to fuel their anger or to mock. I rented this from an automated Redbox unit. (Very cool concept by the way) The rental cost only one dollar. I may have overpaid. I realize that studios and other big companies usually own the rights to film names, but some comment by King and Romero denouncing this trash would be very satisfying. Horror fans, beware of this one!

I've seen some really turkeys, but this one may be the worst I've seen. Horrible acting, direction, story, everything. The co-directors should be beaten with a stick. I thought Creepshow 2 wasn't so great, but at least it had one kind of cool story, ("The Raft/Lake" ). This installment doesn't have a single even mediocre story. Its bad by even direct to video standards. They are all downright bad, silly and a total waste of time. It was funny that they even had a behind the scenes , under extra material for this DVD. To see the directors and actors praise each other was too funny. The bonus materials should have consisted of profuse apologies from everyone involved. Seriously, i hope these writers and directors never get work again.

Jim Dudelson and Anna Clavel, are pure film-making morons. They have trashed some fine franchises, (Day of the Dead, and Creepshow) Jim doesn't care, Anna is deluded and thinks she is a genius. They slapped the film together in less than 20 days with no name talent and put the Creepshow Name on it, expecting fans to just eat it. Truly, it is just a quick money grab for Jim. Since the original Creepshow and Day of the Dead are owned by Jim's family, he really must hate his family, cause those franchises are worth a lot less now... Don't buy Creepshow III, don't rent it. If you do and watch it, you'll hate yourself. Creepshow III was made by filmmakers who hate horror films and just want your money.

I have watched some dire "horror" movies out of boredom but this is probably the single worst film I've possibly seen. It starts promisingly enough but soon disintegrates into a dire rambling series of stories that not only are badly acted and plotted but make no sense. There is an attempt to link the whole thing together but again it's just nonsense. I stuck with it hoping some over-reaching arc would tie the thing together and make me nod knowingly in an ironic sense. But nothing redeems this truly awful movie. If I didn't know different I'd assume this was made more than 20 years ago with the porn film soundtrack and what little effects there are add nothing to this waste of an hour and a half.

This is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen to this point in my life. It isn't scary, it isn't funny, it isn't even trying to be good. It is an annoying film and to use the Creepshow name should insult fans of the original films. But anyways, here are the stories:

Alice - Every time a man uses a new remote control, his daughter Alice turns into some slimy, pimply, oozing mess. Eventually she becomes a rabbit. Makes absolutely no sense and is horribly put together.

The Radio - A man buys a radio from a homeless guy and starts to hear voices coming from it telling it to steal some money and kill anyone who threatens him. Better than 'Alice', but drags on way too much.

Call Girl - A prostitute/serial killer gets more than she bargained for when she gets set to claim her next victim. This might be the best of the whole bunch, interesting twist.

The Professor's Wife - Two former students murder the professor's fiancé thinking she is a robot. Silly and pointless, but is better than the first two.

Haunted Dog - Some rude doctor gives a homeless man a hotdog that he picked off the ground. The homeless man chokes on it (I think) and dies. He then haunts the doctor until he dies. I got a few laughs from the miserable doctor played by Kris Allen, best actor in Creepshow III. Nothing special though.

And that's it. Pretty bad movie overall. What annoys me is that throughout each story when something strange or illogical happens, the characters don't react. For example when the radio starts speaking to the character, he sort of shrugs it off and starts speaking back to it like it's something normal. None of the stories make a lot of sense, and add nothing to this nothing of a horror movie.

2/10