Rob Corddry credited as playing...
Ron Fox
- Ron Fox: [upon seeing Harold] What's up with the guy with the weird eyes? He handicapped or something?
- Deputy Frye: We believe he's of Korean decent.
- Ron Fox: My God. North Korea and Al Qaeda working together. This is bigger than I thought.
- Goldstein: Don't insult us, alright? I don't know what the hell's going on here, but I'm pleading the 5th until I speak to my lawyer.
- Ron Fox: Oh, you plead the 5th, huh? Beecher, get me a copy of the Bill of Rights.
- Dr. Beecher: The Bill of Rights? Why?
- Ron Fox: Just do it!
- [Beecher leaves room]
- Ron Fox: 5 right?
- Rosenberg: 5, sure.
- Goldstein: 5 alive.
- Ron Fox: Okay.
- [Beecher comes in with the Bill of Rights]
- Ron Fox: [undoing his pants] You want to know what I think of the 5th Amendment?
- [rips off paper and wipes his ass with it]
- Ron Fox: [holding up paper with crap smeared on it] There it is. That's what I think of the 5th Amendment.
- Goldstein: Why the hell is your ass so dirty? Don't you wipe?
- Ron Fox: Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to buddy.
- Harold Lee: Please, sir. This is all a big mistake.
- [referring to Kumar]
- Harold Lee: My idiot friend here brought marijuana on the plane.
- Ron Fox: Zip it, Hello Kitty! We know your operation's funded by drugs!
- Ron Fox: Do you have a problem with the way I run the show, Beecher?
- Dr. Beecher: I'm just saying I looked through the files on Harold Lee and Kumar Patel. They were both born and raised in New Jersey. Other than a couple of traffic tickets, they're clean.
- Ron Fox: Oh, right! That's why they just broke out of prison!
- Dr. Beecher: It's not even clear that they should've been there in the first place!
- Ron Fox: [growing flustered] Shouldn't have...
- [walks over to desk and picks up a picture of a little girl]
- Ron Fox: You see this cute little white girl, Beecher?
- Dr. Beecher: Yeah.
- Ron Fox: Do you want her to get raped and murdered?
- Dr. Beecher: Of course not.
- Ron Fox: You sure? Cause this is America. Do you want to rape America?
- Dr. Beecher: No.
- Ron Fox: Then stop fucking with me!
- [throws picture against wall]
- Deputy Frye: I assume Secretary Whitmore is coming?
- Ron Fox: Negative. He's on an ice fishing trip in Glacier Bay. I'm in charge while he's gone.
- Dr. Beecher: Well, shouldn't he be alerted? Isn't this issue of more importance than an ice fishing trip?
- Ron Fox: Who are you again?
- Dr. Beecher: Dr. John Beecher, Vice Chairman of the NSA.
- Ron Fox: Yeah, well, listen Dr. Dipshit - you've obviously never been ice fishing before.
- Dr. Beecher: No, I haven't.
- Ron Fox: Well it's fucking exhilarating.
- Harold Lee: Can we have the right to make a phone call?
- Ron Fox: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. You want rights now. You want freedoms. Right now. Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock?
- Ron Fox: Neil... Patrick... Harris.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Yo.
- Ron Fox: It is an honor to meet you, sir.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, I would imagine so.