"No hikers or cannibals were hurt during the production of this screenplay. Well okay, ONE did but fingers grow back, right?"
"Why are you still reading this? Go back to the video store and rent another Asylum film. You know you want to."
"The events, characters and firms depicted in this photoplay are fictitious. Really. And similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, and very weird. We suggest moving, and/or staying away from off-the-beaten-path areas in the middle of nowhere."