User reviews

A group of idiots go into the desert hills to party, drink, and smoke pot, not knowing that these hills have cannibal rednecks living in them in this "Hills Have Eyes" clone that only the Asylum can make. The Asylum is widely regarded as being heavily synonymous was complete and utter crap, and with good reason as most, if not all, of their films are practically unwatchable, this one being no exception. Personally, I'm glad that of all these Asylum abominations that I've seen, I haven't paid for any of them (well OK yeah I have indirectly through Netflix & premium cable but I digress) Not.worth your times, money or loss of sanity to watch this.

This movie was made to cash in on the success of the 2006 remake of "the Hills Have Eyes".

Not since Kurt Russell portrayed a jungle boy on Gilligan's Island has someone done such an amazing job of not looking like a primitive. The Cannibals in this movie are pathetic. They engage in what can only be described as "Ooga Booga" acting. It takes more to be threatening in a performance that simply slipping on a leather coat which was bought from a Salvation Army used clothing store, rolling in the mud, and yelling, while waving your hands in the air. The nylon wigs, and halloween makeup show more of an effort than many of the "movies" produced by this production company / video mill, but all in all there is very little meat on the bones of this cannibal film. The violence and gore will satisfy those that are purely into graphic scenes, but if you need plot or logic in order to suspend your disbelief forget it. Issues like why there are cannibal, how they got there, and why their victims arrive in the desert in the first place are not addressed. What the director obviously didn't realise is that when it comes to horror less is more. This is especially true when you have actors that are so over the top in their depictions that the cave man in the Pauly Shore film "Encino Man" seems like something put together by anthropologists in a documentary. We almost see more interaction of the cannibals relating to each other than we do the victims to whom we are meant to relate. The post-nuclear valley girl-looking cannibals brutally kill their victims and than daintily eat the body parts off a licence plate like canapays. At one point you can even hear the director tell two of the cannibals "Ok, now lick your fingers" as they gently nibble away on the flesh as if Miss Manners herself was standing off screen as a technical adviser instructing on etiquette. If you can look past the fact that the cave in which they live is lite up like a Macy's Christmas tree, you are left to wonder where the cannibals got the vanilla candles that burn in the knooks and cranies of the cave from time to time (Peir One?). Basically, what you have is a film that contains scenes of violence and brutality which are rendered ineffective by all the rest of the films content.

This film isn't that bad. Though is could have been better. The acting is weak for a horror movie, half the time people just looked annoyed rather than scared. On the other hand, if you LIKE your movies someone amusing and silly (and there are times when that is exactly what I am looking for) then this movie is for you.

What I did want to comment on was the above poster saying that Craven should sue. IF you would have actually looked at the movie jacket a bit closer you would see that the working title is actually "Hillside Cannibals: The Legend of SAWNEY BEAN. You would also then realize that is exactly who Craven said inspired his movie, "The Hills have Eyes." I don't know...not to be rude, but maybe you should do a bit of research before jumping the gun. The movie takes liberties with the legend of the Bean family, but since there is nothing in the way of hard evidence to corroborate whether or not the Bean family actually existed, it is pretty obvious that both the director of this movie and Craven himself have taken liberties with the retelling of the story.

What a disappointment.It said this was the story of Sawney Bean but as it was set in the present day with the usual excuse of kids on vacation there to discover all was not what it seemed just what was the point? Were you supposed to figure out the ones who actually spoke English were seeing a reenactment photographed into the ether? As if they were receivers? The story of the cannibal family led by a 17th century braindead lowlife was interesting enough for a movie especially as this family were well hidden from authority by conducting their business in a network of caves in Scotland and were only discovered after one person escaped their ambush. Bean was executed in Edinborough by hanging with both his hands and feet cut off so he bled to death and was put to death without trial because the caves were full of human bones. Surely that would have made a better movie than this excuse for horror and an easy enough job for the "actors" who were just required to grunt

It's tough to criticize this movie because really I knew what I was getting into with the lame cover art and the complete lack of a description on the back (the back of the DVD case is just a retelling of the Sawney Bean clan). Still, I was hoping for either something that was so bad it was funny or at least so bad it was amusing.

Instead, this is just so bad it's tedious. It's not a bad looking movie like most of the other shot-on-video productions that go straight to video, and there are some decent gore effects here or there, but the whole time it feels like the cast and crew are just sleepwalking through the thing for a paycheck. There's not a scent of originality here whatsoever - the whole plot was lifted from the original "The Hills Have Eyes", only without the fleshed out characters or compelling antagonists. Speaking of the antagonists - what the heck are a bunch of kilt wearing cave people doing in the mountains of California? Did I miss that explanation? Did I miss the explanation of why they behave like a high school production of The Flinstones? Yawn.

The only redeeming thing about this movie was trying to guess whether or not the lead actress was wearing a wig or not. I vote for yes. Either that or she should never work with her stylist from this flick ever again.

Congratulations, Asylum, you have suckered me once, but this is the last time I am using my hard-earned cash on one of your cop out excuses for cinema.

Cannibalism is not the subject of idle chit-chat. Really liked the effects, set and bad guys in this Theasylum flick. Tom(Bill)Nagel is the only victim ,I had apathy for…Being a fomer carpal tunnel patient, My hands hurt almost as much as Toms. Vaz(Callum) Andreas had the most scenes to emote in, If you could while munching on co-stars. Leigh(Sawney)Scott had the kewlest role as leader on stilts and why not when your also the director. Tom(Towart)Downey, Hey they didn't list you in IMDb& we interviewed before, Has the most fun as the Big Brother with a gimmick. Louis(Sheriff)Graham was even more disturbing then as the neighbor in When A Killer Calls, For shame on you sir. Erica(Rhian) Roby has the required T & A scene and is as pretty as she is hungry. The ending freaked me, And not in a good way…Whatever happened to happy endings Where ,oh, where is MICHAEL BERRYMAN ???

Great start. Really threw a curve ball at us we did not see coming.. only then to slow to a absolute snails pace after the 15min mark. Ended up skipping through the movie and was able to piece it together as it ludicrously predictable. Should be called hillside caveman.

There's some scary stuff here – the Blockbuster guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He's only rating the box and didn't see the movie. This is an ultra-low-budget desert-cannibal flick that takes the Scottish cannibal clan and puts them in the Mojave Desert. They obviously couldn't afford to go to Scotland but it's a modern day Sawney Bean tribe with ragged kilts and tons of prosthetic scar tissue. Sawney Bean never really existed – it's an English urban legend. There's no real historical basis so they clearly went with tons of blood and guts. Not a whole lot of story either but it is genuinely gross. I loved the violence, these wackos sure like their fingers. I liked this more than the recent "Hills Have Eyes" remake, which sucked big time. This movie is really inventively disgusting. There's lots of violence, some dubious acting but it's all worth it for the ending, which is sick and twisted and cool.

I would like to set the record straight about Sawney Bean.

Reach4xtc said in his review that Sawney Bean was a English urban legend, this is not true, I live about 30 miles from the cave where Sawney Bean and his family lived, they where very real people and nothing to do with the English, urban legend or otherwise.

I doubt Reach4xtc has ever stepped foot in Scotland and obviously knows nothing of Scottish history.

This being said the rest of his review is quite accurate. A film worth the watching if you like the gore factor, and you don't mind the fact that it is a low budget, bad acting, splatter fest.

right this must act as a warning stay away from this garbage film, I'm already miffed that i got suckered in and actually paid for the DVD. This tedious garbage seems to be utterly devoid of plot, all you get is some kids (of which it is impossible to care about devoid of personality as they are) go to the dessert get eaten by cannonballs who enjoy incest, thats it the plot save you watching this utter utter tripe. The only thing that is mildly decent about this is the effects are OK which hints at either a really good effects team or this film was funded far more money than it deserves. Terrible STAY AWAY. Seriously terrible not even in the so bad its good category

This movie was perhaps the worst film I have ever seen in my life... I can think of no comparison and I've seen some pretty painful stuff...

Id say this was a spoiler alert but it really isn't... within the first 5 minutes the entire main cast dies and they are replaced with even worse actors....

This movie was so painful to watch that me and my other two college friends had to amuse ourselves with something. So we just ended up laughing the entire time at this piece of garbage.

If you want a movie that is so horrible that you have to laugh.. watch this one

I'll say one thing about this film, it wasted no time getting started, and there ends the positive aspects of this 80 odd minute affair.

As an actual descendant of Sawney Bean, this film was actually rather insulting. No descendant of Sawney ended up in the USA, and just because he and his clan were alleged cannibals, it doesn't mean his descendants are. This is a silly, lazy, trope that we see in a number of films.

If your ancestors were Vegetarian, does it mean you are too? Of course not.

So immediately upon introducing our protagonists, i knew there was going to be the obligatory 'stoner'. Sure enough, less than 30- seconds of dialogue and we have the "Did you bring the stuff?" Line, and a big bad of parsley was revealed. Something strike you as odd about this? EXACTLY. They've very clearly been travelling for a fair number of miles and a number of hours. So would the time to ask that all important question, perhaps not have been before they set off, rather than once they'd arrived in the middle of nowhere? What would've happened had she forgotten the parsley? Would she have had to drive back for it and catch the gang the next morning? Would they all have gone back for it, and the Cannibals would've spent a lonely night chasing their own shadows, forlornly reminiscing about the 'good old days' when package trains and wagons used to come rollin' on through full of Pilgrims or the cast of Little House on the Prairie?

Had she forgotten the parsley, this would've been a far better film, in fairness. It could've switched back and forth, from them being chased by a psychotic truck driver, intent on annihilating the lot of them all because they pulled out in front of him at a cross roads some way down the way, to the Cannibals sat on rocks, picking their toenails and playing their mouth organs while howling at the moon, back to the 30 something teens, now booking into the dodgiest looking Motel on the trail, run by an incestuous Brother and Sister who take a troubling liking to the bloke with glasses and force him to breed with the Brother, while the Sister sits a strokes her...shotgun...(please, people, lets keep this clean here!!). Back to the Cannibals who are now sat in their hot tub, drinking hooch and smoking cigars, waiting for the Domino's Pizza to arrive.

Incidentally, i'm not a descendant of Sawney Bean, but i bet that story was more believable than this film was.

Storyline: (none) A group of teenagers drive into the desert and one by one they are slaughtered indiscriminately by the HILLSIDE CANNIBALS...unfortunately there is not much more to say about the story. Not unusual for the genre, right, but the film is really only something for completely painless gorehounds because of the basic premise: cheap cheap cheap. YES, the splatter and gore factor is quite high (and innovation-free), but the plot is so stale and the cinematic atmosphere so unfrightening that there is simply no joy...er...fear. I know, bad can also be good...but that doesn't work in every case, and not in the mid-2000s anymore.

The parallels to The Hills Have Eyes are more than conspicuous, but in terms of level even below "IThe Hills Have Eyes Part II (1984)". You have to (well ok...rather can) see it for the sake of completeness, Hillside Cannibals on the other hand is absolutely irrelevant, even for the most fanatical horror freak.

Conclusion: not suitable for beer evenings either. You will break off the "film enjoyment" (I'm guessing) prematurely and only get annoyed about the money you've thrown away. Cucumber!

Alright, I was in Blockbuster today on my lunch break and spotted to preview sleeves for this (both copies were actually rented out). It claimed to be the tale that inspired the Hills Have Eyes. Um, WHAT?! That is the most bogus claim I've ever read! Hey director/script writer: watch the documentary on the original Hills Have Eyes (1977) 2-disk by Anchor Bay. In it, Wes Craven states that the inspiration for the Hills Have Eyes was a cave-dwelling medieval (sp?) family in the British Isles (the Seaney-Beane family I believe). Wes Craven should sue the hell out of the "production company" of this "film" for libel! I am insulted that anyone would try to cash in on film-renters' ignorance of a subject by just plain lying. I came across another video box for "When A Killer Calls" which claims to be more like the urban legend (the babysitter and the man upstairs) than the original When A Stranger Calls. RUBBISH! I CALL SHINANIGANS!!