Andrew Byron credited as playing...
Andrei Basilashvili
- Andrei Basilashvili: [in an audition for the gangster role in Antonio's new epic] Come on all you...! Er, I cannot say this word, it's, er, against my religion.
- Spadina Bathurst: Well, just read on - we'll get round it - Read!
- Andrei Basilashvili: Come on all you, er, morons, this is a stick up, or I'll flipping well execute every last one of you... Idiots!
- [pause]
- Andrei Basilashvili: Yopso Mopso
- [translated loosely from Russian - 'Oh deary me!']
- Andrei Basilashvili: This not very original script!
- Antonio Pannolino: Philistine! Get Out!
- Nicole: Good Morning Sir, it's Mr.Basi... er, Basila... Ba...
- Andrei Basilashvili: Andrei Basilashvili.
- Nicole: Yes, of course, please have a seat - my name's Nicole, so, what sort of employment are you seeking?
- Andrei Basilashvili: Film Star!
- Nicole: Sorry?
- Andrei Basilashvili: I want to be a film star.
- Nicole: OK
- [pause]
- Nicole: do you have any experience at all in this?
- Andrei Basilashvili: Well, I used to be a taxi driver, and I met Nikita Mikhalkov - he is one of Russia's greatest actor-directors... have you seen any of his films?
- Nicole: No, I'm afraid not.
- Andrei Basilashvili: They're very good!
- Nicole: [pause while Nicole searches for a suitable job for Andrei] OK. This is what we have at present sir... just came in this morning - it's a vacancy for a sanitary technician, but it's at a very prestigious London cinema...
- Andrei Basilashvili: Well, anything is better than scrubbing toilets!
- Andrei Basilashvili: [scene from the film within the film; Antonio's 'Red Carpet' epic - The Gangster invites the Beautiful Actress to dinner] Come in! You're late...
- Stefania Pannolino: I thought it was polite for a lady to be 20 minutes late in England.
- Andrei Basilashvili: Well, I'm Russian, and you're 40 minutes late.
- Stefania Pannolino: Then I'm just doubly polite, and anyway, I'm Italian!
- Andrei Basilashvili: Huh!