Quotes

Love & Other Drugs

Jamie Randall: Hey, Lisa.
Bruce Winston: Her name's not Lisa.
Jamie Randall: I know. I know. But, if everytime I say "Hey, Lisa", then eventually she'll come up to me and she'll be like, you know, "My name's not Lisa it's... Jennifer"... whatever, and I'll do a big apology and I'll say, "I thought you were the Lisa who was mad at me for not calling". And, from then on Jennifer, or whatever her name is, will think that I dated a girl who looked just like her... who I rejected. She'll develop this unconscious need to win my approval and from then on, it's cake.
Bruce Winston: Damn!

Jamie Randall: I'm full of shit, okay? No I'm... I'm *knowingly* full of shit. Because, uh... because uh, uh... I have... I have *never* cared about anybody or anything in my entire life. And the thing is, everybody just kind of accepted that. Like, "That's just Jamie." And then you!... Jesus. *You*. You. You didn't see me that way. I have never known anyone who actually believed that I was enough. Until I met you. And then you made me believe it, too. So, uh... unfortunately... I need you. And you need me.
Maggie Murdock: No I don't.
Jamie Randall: Yes you do.
Maggie Murdock: No I don't.
Jamie Randall: *Yes*, you do.
Maggie Murdock: Stop it, stop saying that.
Jamie Randall: You need someone to take care of you.
Maggie Murdock: No, I don't!
Jamie Randall: Everybody does.

Jamie Randall: Let's just say in some alternate universe, there's a couple just like us, okay? Only she's healthy and he's perfect. And their world is about how much they're going to spend on vacation or who's in a bad mood that day, or whether they feel guilty about having a cleaning lady. I don't want to be those people. I want us. You. This.

Jamie Randall: [Last lines] I used to worry a lot about who I'd be when I grew up. You know, like how much money I'd make or, umm, like some day I'd become some big deal. Sometimes, the thing you want most doesn't happen. And sometimes, the thing you never expect does. Like giving up my job in Chicago and everything and deciding to stay and apply to med school. I don't know. You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed... forever.

California Man: Parkinson's, right?
Jamie Randall: Oh, no. No.
California Man: No, your wife.
Jamie Randall: Girlfriend. Stage One.
California Man: Good days and bad days, huh?
Jamie Randall: Mostly good days. You?
California Man: Wife. Since '73. Stage Four.
Jamie Randall: You got any advice?
California Man: You don't need my advice.
Jamie Randall: Come on. I'm very trainable.
California Man: My advice is to go upstairs, pack your bags, and leave a nice note. Find yourself a healthy woman. I love my wife. I do. But I wouldn't do it over again. The thing nobody tells you, this disease will steal everything you love in her. Her body, her smile, her mind. Sooner or later, she'll lose motor control. Eventually, she won't even be able to dress herself. Then, the fun really begins. Cleaning up her shit. Frozen face. Dementia. It's not a disease, it's a Russian novel.

Maggie Murdock: What's your game?
Jamie Randall: My game?
Maggie Murdock: Oh I'm sorry. Right. This is the part where we talk about where we come from and what we majored in in college.
Jamie Randall: You have beautiful eyes.
Maggie Murdock: That's it? That's the best you got?
Jamie Randall: I'm serious. They're beautiful.
Maggie Murdock: Let's go.
Jamie Randall: Excuse me?
Maggie Murdock: You want to close right? You want to get laid?
Jamie Randall: Now?
Maggie Murdock: Oh right, right, right. I'm supposed to act like I don't know if it's right. So then you tell me that there is no right or wrong. It's just the moment. And then I tell you that I can't while actually signalling to you that I can, which you don't need because you're not really listening. Because this isn't about connection for you. This isn't even about sex for you. This is about finding an hour or two of relief from the pain of being you. And that's fine with me, see, because all I want is the exact same thing.

Maggie Murdock: I'm sorry, I'm sorry I know it's late.
[Shewalks in and takes off her coat to reveal her naked body to Jamie not realizing Josh is there too]
Jamie Randall: Oh my god!
Josh Randall: OH MY GOD!
Maggie Murdock: OH MY GOD!
[falls to the floor struggling to cover herself]
Jamie Randall: [Looks at Josh] OH MY GOD!
Josh Randall: I didn't see anything. My glasses are off.
Jamie Randall: JOSH, TURN AROUND!
Josh Randall: [Turns around on the couch and talks with his hand] Hi, I'm Josh a pleasure to meet you.

California Man: [about Parkinson disease] It's not a disease, it's a Russian novel.

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