Hugh Laurie credited as playing...
Dr. Gregory House
- Dr. Gregory House: [after patient refusing treatment after finding out she contributed to her baby's death] She said no.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: So we get her declared unstable. Appoint a medical proxy.
- Dr. Gregory House: She was unstable. Now she's sane. She's entitled to refuse treatment.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: We have to change her mind. You can't just walk away.
- Dr. Gregory House: Fine! Go on in there and tell her that every day is a blessing! "So you killed your baby! Shake it off, think positive! At least you're alive!" Hmm. Kinda hard to sell when you don't believe it, huh? And you never believed it. You just wanted all that crap you went through to mean something, well it didn't mean anything, it never does! Welcome back.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Why are you doing this to me? I was happy.
- Dr. Gregory House: You were aspiring to be content.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Don't give me a semantic argument. I was content with the way things were. That's what happiness is.
- Dr. Gregory House: Right. If we were all satisfied with what we had what a beautiful world it would be, we'd all slowly starve to death in our own filth, but at least we'd be happy. Listen, I need your self worth to hang on this job. For kicking ass to be all that lets you rise above miserable. If waking up in the morning is enough, I don't need you.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I can live with that.
- Dr. Gregory House: No, you can't. Not anymore.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Foreman] Glad you're back. Cameron makes lousy coffee. Take mine black, the way I take my brain-damaged neurologists.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson] What are you doing?
- Dr. James Wilson: PCR test.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're doing it yourself in the middle of the night? On a spoon. Cuddy's spoon?
- Dr. James Wilson: I'm checking her saliva for cancer markers.
- Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. I do that after all my dates too.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Chase caught a case in the ER. He wants us to take a look.
- Dr. Gregory House: Unless Chase broke his neck falling off his polo pony, he had no reason to be in the ER.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Postpartum psychosis makes her want to drown her kid. The internal conflict triggers a seizure.
- Dr. Gregory House: You know what else might be a trigger? A physical illness. It's a wild idea, I know especially since she doesn't have any obviously physical symptoms like internal bleeding or excess calcium.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I'll draw some blood, test for...
- Dr. Gregory House: Ahhhh! Jesus! You've done it again! Will you argue with me? Drinkers don't eat right. Explains the bleeding and the calcium. This might just be some crazy drunk and I'm telling you that she's about to die of myelogenous meningitis.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: We already tested for...
- Dr. Gregory House: Exactly! It's an insane idea!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Okay. What do you want me to do?
- Dr. Gregory House: Have an original thought.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Brent] I need your son.
- Brent Mason: Who are you?
- Dr. Gregory House: Your wife's doctor. Your son may have had the same condition she does.
- Brent Mason: My son didn't have a condition. She killed him.
- Dr. Gregory House: If I biopsy her intestines, she'll bleed out. He obviously won't.
- Brent Mason: You're not using my son's body to help her.
- Dr. Gregory House: Okay. How about trading him for a beer? Or maybe you're more of a whiskey guy. You didn't have strep or stomach bug the morning you came in. You puked because you were hungover. If she was a recovering drunk and slipping most of the time, you'd be right.
- Brent Mason: So I drink. You're acting like this is my fault.
- Dr. Gregory House: People are going to feel sorry for you, they'll tell you that you can't anticipate the unthinkable. Well, the fact is you can. It's just not all that pleasant.
- Brent Mason: Look, you don't know anything about how...
- Dr. Gregory House: I know that people don't get crazy enough to kill someone without first being crazy enough for someone to notice. How many times did you go out for a drink because she was crying? How many times did you stay at work because you couldn't listen to her telling you what a bad mother she is? You were relieved. When she shut down, you just sat staring for hours at a time. She held the pillow over his head. You slept while she went nuts. Not exactly a draw, but...
- Brent Mason: What is wrong with you? What kind of a person says those things now?
- Dr. Gregory House: Let me do the test. It'll be one less thing for you to feel crappy about.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Chase] Got a dead baby for you to biopsy.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Let Cameron do it.
- Dr. Gregory House: Love working NICU? I can get you transferred.
- Dr. Robert Chase: I told you. I just wanted to trust patients.
- Dr. Gregory House: You don't give a crap about patients.
- [Chase is about to walk out of the room]
- Dr. Gregory House: Your paycheck.
- [holds it up out of the pile on his desk]
- Dr. Gregory House: You've been double-dipping. Taking your vacation time here while drawing a salary in NICU. Strange. Rich boy doing all that for some extra cash.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [tries to grab the paycheck from House, but House pulls it out of his reach] I'm not rich.
- Dr. Gregory House: But your dad was. Now he's dead. If you're not rich, that means that Daddy cut you out.
- [gives Chase the envelope]
- Dr. Robert Chase: I'm not rich.
- Dr. Gregory House: Don't let it change you and do the test.
- Dr. Gregory House: You don't have cancer.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You don't have dwarfism.
- Dr. Gregory House: You have no proof of that.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Foreman] Where are you going?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: To put her in a phenocoma.
- Dr. Gregory House: What if I'm wrong? What if Daddy's the drunk?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Do you want us to give her the pheno or not?
- Dr. Gregory House: I want him to argue his point!
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I assume you considered the father and ruled him out.
- Dr. Gregory House: What's that saying where you assume, you become a pain in the ass to me?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Why should I argue? You'd just overrule me.
- Dr. Gregory House: Enough! Get a pony or a watermelon farm!
- Dr. Allison Cameron: House!
- Dr. Gregory House: I need him to react. I need him to act like a human being. I need him to get over this boring, near-death rebirth.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: I have changed. It's not something you get over.
- Dr. Gregory House: Nearly dying changes everything forever. For about two months. Two months is too long, I need the guy I hired back now.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: No matter how much your misery loves company, it's not getting mine.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Stop pushing him.
- Dr. Gregory House: Stop protecting him.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He needs it.
- Dr. Gregory House: Not if he wants to get better.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He might not be able to get better.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, then I need a new neurologist.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He got sick doing his job.
- Dr. Gregory House: Well, if he got killed doing his job, I wouldn't keep him on the payroll. I don't care how guilty you feel or how touched you are by his reborn spirit.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm not touched.
- Dr. Gregory House: Then you're guilt-ridden.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm not guilt-ridden!
- Dr. Gregory House: Then you're pathetic!
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Right now, I'm annoyed!
- [House is trying and failing to enrage Foreman]
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm telling you, I'm going to drop the N-bomb if I have to.
- Dr. Gregory House: Chase, will you get your head out of the dead baby's butt and focus on the barely alive...
- [stops when he has a thought]
- Dr. Gregory House: Tonight. L Word marathon.
- Dr. James Wilson: You watch the L Word?
- Dr. Gregory House: On mute.
- Dr. James Wilson: I'll pass.
- Dr. Gregory House: So what causes seizures, hypercalcemia and the thing where Mommy bends like Gumby?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Lithium could cause all three of the mother's symptoms.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: No record she's on lithium.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: And tox screen was negative.
- Dr. Gregory House: Lithium doesn't show on a basic tox screen, scarecrow.