Pool Party

There are no laughs to be had in this sorry little 'zany' tale of Matt whom is studying for the bar exam while house-sitting for his overbearing boss and trying to keep the boss's kids and their friends from throwing a party. Lame joke follows lame joke in a vain attempt to be funny & wacky, but all the so-called 'humor' (usually gay-oriented non-jokes) misses the mark by a mile, instead turning this into an exercises in sheer will to make it to the end, which I doubt many people other than myself will do.

Eye Candy: Meredith Giangrande gets topless; Sarah Horvath shows some T&A

My Grade: F

Where I saw it: Netflix via xbox 360

and i've seen some pretty bad movies. The shameless nudity, the ridiculous homophobic jokes, and the plot are just some of the bad things about this movie.

Why did anyone actually give people the opportunity and money to make this? What's sad is thatI wasted my time on it, and I only did so because a friend of mine from high school is one of the extras. Between the sound problems, the bad writing, the really bad direction and cinematography and the even worse acting, this is easily the single most awful movie I've ever seen.

I'm ashamed someone was given money to make it and that people's time were wasted filming it. I'd given it 0 stars if it were an option. What a colossal waste of our nation's resources. They should all be ashamed of themselves. What a mess.

I love bad movies. I've seen The Room several times, I've seen Birdemic at least twice. And I like sleazy movies. I like cheap stuff. I picked this on Netflix since I had been watching a string of 80s teen sex romps.

There are a few positive traits to this movie. It's generally well lit. The sound is clear. The editing is competent, in that I don't feel confused about what I'm being shown.

But all of those positive traits come with caveats. The lighting is fine - but many indoor scenes, which have lower light, somehow make the picture look a bit more blocky. The sound is mostly fine, except for a few sequences, where the sound takes on a hollow effect. I think those were recorded on-set with a camera mike, possibly. Then the editing was also strange. There are minor continuity errors between shots, like a person's arm being raised, then in the next shot, it's down. It isn't horrible, but it's distracting.

And there isn't a message to this movie that comes across preachy or even vaguely offensive to any sensibilities. But the movie is so painfully unfunny that it made me feel mildly ill.

I am not joking about this.

I almost cracked a smile once, as Buck is calling out, trying to find his "towlie." But that was it.

This movie is so packed with "wacky" that there's nothing else to it. Everything is a joke, but it's not a funny joke.

I look for the things that are well done in cheap movies. In this case, they barely competently made a movie that is dull and a bit annoying. This is as low as you can go without getting entertaining for camp value.

One addendum is that I understand exactly where these people are coming from. I loved the same movies that they pay tribute to. The problem is that the movie would be impressive if it were written by a couple guys right out of high school.

Having failed his bar exam twice "Matt" (Justin T. Bowler) is forced to put up with an abusive boss named "Richard" (David Lawrence) until he can finally pass in order to find another job elsewhere. So when Richard tells him to watch over his mansion for a few days Matt decides to use whatever spare time he can scrounge up to study. However, as luck would have it, Richard's son "Buck" (Kenzo Lee) and step-daughter "Leslie" (Sarah Horvath) decide to violate their father's instructions and party while he is gone. This creates all kinds of problems for Matt. Anyway, so much for the plot. Now, rather than disclose the rest of the movie and risk spoiling this film for those who haven't seen it I will just say that it had a few funny moments here and there. It also had a couple of attractive women as well. Unfortunately, the funny parts were few and far between and the eye candy wasn't sufficient to change an otherwise cheap and uninspired script. Below average.

Anyone that truly hates this movie clearly has no knowledge of the tumultuous socio-economic climate of mid-nineteenth century Prussia. This thing has layers! The way they skewer the constitutional monarchy is downright hysterical.

So maybe Pool Party isn't Shakespeare. Heck, it's not even a slickly produced, big Hollywood comedy... and it never asks the audience to think otherwise. What it happens to be is a low- budget, chuckle-inducing flick made by a group of relative newcomers who had the tenacity and drive to make a movie. It's not going to change your life, but it will make you snicker. Add a moderately priced bottle of something and you might be able to come up with a drinking game every time star/writer Justin Bowler flashes his pearly whites.