Michael Hollick credited as playing...
Niko Bellic
- Niko Bellic: War is when the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.
- Ileyna Faustin: [about Mikhail Faustin] He did not used to be like this. When we were young, at home, he was beautiful. He was happy. He made me happy. But then something changed. Years ago. I never quite knew what it was. So many years I wondered what it was, or what was wrong with me that I did not see it in him, or I changed him.
- Niko Bellic: Life is complicated. I... I never thought I'd live like this.
- Ileyna Faustin: No?
- Niko Bellic: When the war came, I did bad things, but after the war I thought nothing of doing bad things. I killed people, smuggled people, sold people.
- Ileyna Faustin: And you don't worry about your soul?
- Niko Bellic: After you walk into a village and you see 50 children, all sitting neatly in a row, against a church wall, each with their throats cut and their hands chopped off, you realize that the creature that could do this doesn't have a soul.
- Ileyna Faustin: God is very complicated. You mustn't give up hope.
- Niko Bellic: Well, I don't know about that.
- [after the end credits]
- Niko Bellic: So this is what the dream feels like? This is the victory we longed for.
- Niko Bellic: Welcome to America.
- Dimitri Rascalov: [in Russian] Fuck you... you dick.
- Niko Bellic: Speak English.
- [Niko drags Vlad's body toward the water. Roman runs over]
- Niko Bellic: Eeeh, you're a big boy Vladdy.
- Roman Bellic: Niko!
- Niko Bellic: Well, I guess this is over.
- Roman Bellic: What have you done?
- Niko Bellic: What does it look like?
- Roman Bellic: We're dead!
- Niko Bellic: No, he's dead... we're fine.
- Roman Bellic: He has powerful friends... serious people... I told you to be calm you hot headed chump!
- Niko Bellic: I am calm. He tried to kill us. He screwed your girlfriend. What do you expect? I give him a massage?
- Roman Bellic: Shit! Shit! Shit!
- Niko Bellic: When I was in the army... we were going on a mission... to ambush a squad who had killed a lot of innocent people. They were our enemies... but we never did it. There were fifteen of us. All boys from the village. But one of us betrayed the group. It was a setup... for money! Twelve people died, three escaped. I know the traitor was not me... So for ten years I've been searching for the other two. One of them lives here.
- Roman Bellic: Why are you telling me this now? Do you always get sentimental after you kill people?
- Niko Bellic: You kept asking...
- Roman Bellic: Wonderful! You're here on some revenge mission for something that happened ten years ago. And you don't care whose life you ruin on the way?
- Niko Bellic: No.
- Roman Bellic: Well what?
- Niko Bellic: I don't know... I just want to know why they did it.
- Roman Bellic: Let's hide the body, at least for a while...
- Niko Bellic: Put him in the river...
- [Together, they roll his body toward the water. A police siren wails in the distance]
- Roman Bellic: Shit. We should get out of here.
- Niko Bellic: You go. I'll catch up with you later.
- Roman Bellic: We are going to die. I don't want to die, man! Not like this!
- Niko Bellic: How would you like to die?
- Roman Bellic: Having a threesome on my hundredth birthday. I don't fucking know! I'm scared you cold bastard. What are we going to do?
- Niko Bellic: I'm not cold.
- Roman Bellic: You're cold... all you care about is revenge and getting your own way.
- Niko Bellic: And all you care about is money, and gambling it away on the internet. Oh! Isn't America great? I get to sit in front of a computer and play Mr. Rich Man and get into debt with crooks.
- Roman Bellic: Okay, I messed up... I know I did. I thought things would be different. I don't understand this place so good. Oh, man. What are we going to do?
- Niko Bellic: Stop sitting in front of the computer gambling our money? Stop getting into illegal card games? Stop spending all our money?
- Roman Bellic: Yes...
- Niko Bellic: Thank you.
- Roman Bellic: And stop thinking about the Russians. Man, we just need to disappear as far as they are concerned. Disappear!
- Niko Bellic: Okay, okay. But I want Florian and Darko. I need to know what happened. Give me that.
- Roman Bellic: Fine. But leave the Russians alone.
- [Niko delivers two dead bodies to a backstreet doctor for organ harvesting]
- Doctor: Did they die of natural causes?
- Niko Bellic: I suppose... A bullet in the head is as close to natural causes as anything in this city.
- Gracie Ancelotti: [as Niko kidnaps her] I'll scratch your fuckin' eyes out!
- Niko Bellic: Scratch my fuckin' balls, bitch!
- Packie McReary: Oh, there he is, Mr. fucking crazy man... you wanna beer?
- Niko Bellic: No.
- Packie McReary: Good. 'Cause I ain't fucking got none.
- Niko Bellic: Very funny. Maybe if being a drunkard doesn't work out you can be a comedian.
- Packie McReary: Fuck off... and you, Kate, fuck off outta here.
- Kate McReary: But aren't you going to introduce us?
- Packie McReary: Sure... this is Niko, some drug dealing de-fuckin'-generate from some armpit in Eastern Europe. That's my ma.
- Maureen McReary: Nice to meet you.
- Niko Bellic: Hi.
- Packie McReary: And this is my sister. Lovely lass. Scared to bits of life. And fucking off outta here right now, before I throw a fuckin' bottle at her.
- Maureen McReary: Patrick!
- Niko Bellic: Nice to meet you.
- Kate McReary: Likewise. See you around. Bye.
- [Maureen and Kate leave]
- Packie McReary: What a girl! I think she likes you. Word to the wise, though - she don't put out. Which is convenient, 'cause if she did, I'd have to kill you.
- Niko Bellic: Understood.
- Packie McReary: Good lad. You got any drugs on you, boy?
- Niko Bellic: No.
- Packie McReary: Shit... well, probably a good thing... we got some business to take care of. Come on.
- [from trailer]
- Gordon Sargent: So you're in, big guy? Or are we gonna have to kill ya?
- Niko Bellic: Well, since you put it that way... I'm in.
- Vlad Glebov: You remember Ivan?
- Niko Bellic: No.
- Vlad Glebov: [shows picture] This guy.
- Niko Bellic: Oh, yes. You guys had a little kiss.
- Vlad Glebov: Very funny. What would you see if I told he was going to rob your cousin?
- Niko Bellic: I'd say: What problem does he got with my cousin?
- Vlad Glebov: [phone rings] Hold on.
- [answers phone]
- Vlad Glebov: Hey. Hey, gorgeous, no. I can't talk right now. What are you wearing? Listen, I'll you back.
- [to Niko]
- Vlad Glebov: Sorry.
- Niko Bellic: Who was that?
- Vlad Glebov: Never you mind.
- Niko Bellic: Was it Ivan?
- Vlad Glebov: Oh, that's funny. You know, for a damn yokel you're a very funny guy.
- Niko Bellic: [laughing] Yes. And for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick.
- Vlad Glebov: Well, it is a shame then that I am the guy with the powerful friends, and you are the little punk who's only friend is a fat weasel who drives a fucking cab!
- United Liberty Paper: You think I don't know that? You think I've been sitting around scratching my balls with my head up my ass?
- Niko Bellic: I'd be impressed if you had been.
- Dimitri Rascalov: I want to buy you a present.
- Niko Bellic: Will you wrap it up and put a pretty bow on it?