Ten Inch Hero (2007)

John Doe: Trucker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Priestly : [Walks past Piper and jen, backtracks. To Piper]  Who are you?

  Piper : Piper.

  Priestly : Piper. What are you doing here, Piper?

  Piper : I work here.

  Priestly : Why wasn't I notified? I wasn't notified!

  Trucker : Hey, Priestly. We hired someone.

  Priestly : Thank you! I swear, we need like a bulletin board or a staff email or something!

  Jen : You know, Priestly. Piper thinks Elvis is dead.

  Priestly : [to Trucker]  Really? Now, you're hiring people who failed the interview?

• Tish : [Priestly walks in dressed in a button-down and khakis. His hair is brushed out and a normal color. His piercings are gone]  Holy shit.

  Priestly : Miss Matheson, it would be my pleasure if you would agree to accompany me to dinner tonight.

  Tish : Depends.

  Priestly : On what?

  Tish : I wanna know your first name.

  Trucker : Yeah!

  Priestly : Come on, give me a break! I'm- I went to Banana Republic, for Christ sake!

  [Tish looks away] 

  Priestly : Damn it.

  [Whispers] 

  Priestly : Boaz.

  Tish : Can't hear you.

  Priestly : Boaz, all right? My-my first name is Boaz.

  Jen : Boaz?

  Priestly : Shut up.

  Tish : Can I tell you something, Boaz?

  Priestly : Okay.

  Tish : This is something I've never told anyone else.

  Priestly : Yeah, of course.

  Tish : Tish... Is short for Platicia.

  Priestly : Platicia?

  Tish : [Nodding]  Platicia.

• [last lines] 

  Trucker : We ask you here today in this most sacred and beautiful of places to witness our dedication to each other.

  Zo : We start our new lives as we started the last. Naked and needy. Dependent on those we love to care for us.

  Priestly : Hell yeah!

  Priestly : Congratulations.

  Priestly : Rock on, man.

• Jen : [about Fuzzy]  It's a no-brainer. We *have* to meet.

  Priestly : Right on!

  Piper : And what if he is a woman?

  Jen : We'll find a way to make it work.

  Priestly : Ooh, if that happens, can I watch?

  Tish : What is he's 14?

  Priestly : Ooh, if that happens, can I, uh

  [Holds a glass to his eye] 

  Priestly : videotape?

  Jen : He's driving himself to the meeting point, so he's gotta be at least 16, right? And that's not *that* much younger.

  Trucker : Convicted felon?

  Jen : Well, he's out noe, so it couldn't have been that bad.

  Mr. Julius : Paralyzed?

  Jen : If *he* can deal with that, I sure can.

  Lucille : Ugly as a rhino's ass?

  Jen : Looks are really the least of my worries. I mean, he's a great guy.

  Priestly : Well, what if he's got, like, crazy-ass hair and-and, and more artificial holes in his head than real ones?

  Jen : Well, I could never be that lucky.

  [Priestly smiles] 

• Trucker : I swore that I would never hurt another human being as long as I lived.

  Tish : Sorry I made you break you promise.

  Trucker : Oh no. I said I would never hurt another *human*.

• Priestly : Hey, Zo? Are you a vegetarian because you love animals, or because you hate plants?

  Zo : Oh, I do love you Priestly.

  Trucker : Hey, I'm uh, babysitting him by myself all weekend. Love it if you took a shift.

• Tish : [Another victim leaves the sbop. She turns around and everyone's staring at her]  Oh, don't even start with me. If men are that easy to out-finesse, they deserve what they get.

  Priestly : Hey, I'm easy. Don't I deserve it?

  Trucker : Well, Priestly, see, your problem is you always go after the hot chicks. You know. you gotta raise your expectations, man.

  Tish : Excuse me?

  Trucker : Well, really good-looking women, they're high maintenance. And without exception, completely worthless between the sheets.

  Priestly : Seriously?

  Trucker : God's truth.

  Mr. Julius : Certainly been my experience.

  Tish : Oh, you guys are pathetic.

  Trucker : All right, take Tish for example, all right? Men are so pumped to be with a body like hers, that all she's gotta do is just lay back and enjoy the ride, you see? That way, she's never gonna develop any skills in bed.

  Mr. Julius : I second that!

  Tish : Hey, I work hard!

  Trucker : Hey, don't get me wrong; attractive women are great to look at, just don't go home with the prom queen. Give her the crown, she'll never go down.

  Tish : I *was* the prom queen.

  Trucker : Well, I rest my case.

  Tish : All right, that's it. You and me, in the office.

  [Puts her hair up] 

  Tish : I'll show you how I earned my crown!

  [Walks toward the office] 

  Trucker : Women!

  [Tish turns around, an understanding scowl on her face] 

  Trucker : They are so easy to out-finesse! They deserve what they get!

  Tish : [Whips a towel at Trucker]  Dicks!

• Piper : [Comes in and starts doodling on the menu board unannounced. To Trucker]  I'm not normal.

  Piper : Clearly.

  Trucker : I need a job.

  Piper : [after a short stare-down]  It's yours.

• Trucker : ['Interviewing' Piper]  Okay, uh. Let me think... Elvis, dead or alive?

  Piper : Dead.

  Tish : Andy Kaufman?

  Piper : Dead.

  Trucker : Jerry Garcia?

  Piper : Grateful, and dead.

  Tish : Mariah Carey?

  Piper : Are we talking about her acting career?

  Tish : [Chuckles]  No.

  Piper : Okay, then alive.

  Lucille : Why'd you come to Santa Cruz?

  Piper : I have family here.

  Mr. Julius : Are you a virgin?

  [Everyone groans] 

  Trucker : Mr. Julius!

  Mr. Julius : Sorry, sorry.

  Piper : No... But I used to be.

  Tish : You're not a witch, by any chance?

  Piper : Is that a job requirement?

  Tish : Trucker's blazin' for the woman who owns the crystal store across the street. He thinks she's Wiccan.

  Jen : Yeah, they're soul mates, except she's not exactly aware of it yet.

  Trucker : Okay, everybody! Time to vote!

  [Everyone puts their hands up, including the customers] 

• Trucker : What did I miss at our staff meeting?

  Jen : Well, Tish is in love. Or lust, depending on who you're talking to...

  Trucker : Really? Proud of you, angel.

  [High-fives Tish] 

  Jen : Piper is digging herself deeper and deeper into the the pit of deceit with the Millers...

  Trucker : Good. Nice to see that our company tradition for making the worst possible decision in any situation has been passed on to the next generation of employee.

  Jen : Priestly has gotten in touch with his feminine side...

  Priestly : [Offscreen]  I love my kilt!

  Jen : And I have reached a decision on meeting fuzzy.

• Tish : [about Jen's meeting fuzzzy]  Well, I'm coming with.

  Jen : Really?

  Piper : Me, too.

  Jen : You guys are the best!

  Priestly : Yep, count me in!

  Tish , Piper , Jen : Forget it.

  Trucker : Can we get to work now?

  Priestly : I'll, I'll drive.

  Piper : No.

  Priestly : I'll buy the beer.

  [Jen laughs at him] 

  Priestly : I never get to do anything fun.

• Zo : Trucker, my high school fantasy was that we were in love. That when we looked in each other's eyes, time would stand still, and our hearts would forever beat as one.

  Trucker : Sorry it took so long.

• Tish : Hey, Truck, you'll know. What's Priestly's first name?

  Trucker : Beats me.

  Tish : Yeah, but it's gotta be on his application, right?

  Trucker : Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure he filled one out.

• Trucker : All right, angels, the Causemobile is ready to roll!

  Jen , Tish , Piper : Thanks, Charlie!