Let's suppose that you have at least half a dozen friends who are just as crazy about splatter films as you are and who also want to make a movie of their own. Let's say that, between the lot of you, you have an almost non-existent budget and zero professional equipment. Let's also say that none of you have any prior film-making or acting experience, and have very little idea for a story. I still think that you would be hard pushed to make a film quite as awful as Ogroff The Mad Mutilator.
A completely inept French splatter crap-fest, Ogroff opens with the titular killer—a masked maniac brandishing an axe—slaughtering a family, including a little child who is chopped in the chest, and later has her head sawn off. Mean spirited, perhaps, but also completely inept, with horribly shoddy effects the likes of which make the work of fellow home-made horror hacks Nathan Schiff, Andreas Schnaas and Todd Sheets look masterful in comparison.
The film then proceeds to follow Ogroff as he attacks anyone he should meet in the woods, including a trio who are relaxing playing chess while listening to bad electronica, a man cutting trees with a chainsaw (which leads to an incredibly unconvincing 'axe vs power-tool' duel), and a pretty young woman who actually turns out to be Ogroff's lover.
The film then takes a completely unexpected turn when Ogroff's woman accidentally releases a horde of zombies from the killer's cellar, and an elderly vampire (played by Euro horror star Howard Vernon, who must have been a friend of the family) kidnaps the girl, with the axe-waving Ogroff in hot pursuit on a motorcycle. That's right
this is a splatter slasher with zombies AND a vampire!
With all of that, one might expect Ogroff to be an entertaining mess despite the amateurish nature of proceedings, but the terrible direction, random editing, god-awful performances, and lousy audio (any sound was clearly added after filming, since very little of it matches the action), the whole thing manages to be a total bore. I rarely say that 'I could do better' since I was involved in the making of some pretty shoddy super-8 horror shorts myself in the '80s, but, in this case, I could definitely do better.
