- Jeremy Jahns: [repeated line, early episodes] My name's Jeremy... AND I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND!
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: This movie would be a better time... if you were drunk. Yeah, now it's a party!
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: You probably won't remember this movie in T-minus 1 day. Yep, already forgot.
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: This movie is... Dogshit.
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: This movie is... AWESOMETACULAR.
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: This movie is worth buying on Blu-Ray.
- Jeremy Jahns: [repeated closing line] If you liked this you can click this and see more, click right here to see more!
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: She's hot.
- [repeated line]
- Jeremy Jahns: Badass!
- Jeremy Jahns: It's shit inspired by shit which creates more shit!