The Northman

If you expect a Gladiator type movie with the depth it comes with, you will be have a disappointing experience, like my wife who rated it a 1/5.

If you expect a gory viking slaughterfest with mythical elements, you will be very happy like me and rate it higher. I honestly did not know what I was in for which made me glad I watched it.

I guess it helps if you like violent gory movies. I suspect my wife only wanted to see a trimmed Alexander without his shirt on and she got that, even though he was mostly covered in guts and blood =)

Some fight scenes are exceptionally nice shot without cuts which makes me wonder if they really did shoot it in one take or used movie trickery. I don't really care as it was impressive.

Did it leave a lasting impression? No, not really. Well worth the movie ticket for me in any case.

But yeah. Not much depth to it IMO.

This film looks good, sounds good, has the actors to be good, but dissappoints.

Another film that is all about clips that look really good but on watching, it is difficult to feel any real interest in the story coz it is so rambling and jumps about..

Other aspects are just unbelievable, nonsense battle scenes etc.

This obviously was made with a lavish budget, visually it looks great, but it doesn't make up for the lacking of story. I couldn't help but compare this to 'The 13th Warrior' which does have a good story (similar era)

The music, if that's what you call it, quickly began to get on my nerves with the constant 'dirge'.

Another irritance was the weird variable accents, sometimes Scottish, bit of Irish, inconsistant mish mash.

I kept waiting for it to get interesting, but it never did 6/10 just for visuals.

I hadn't realized this film was directed by Robert Eggers, else I would've been better prepared. It's not what I expected, and it was hard to really get into.

That said, I can appreciate the film for its art. I would say it's a gem for cinephiles. It's like viewing the imagination of a medieval Viking peasant as he listens to a bard tell the tale of Amleth.

Great for what it is, but does not evoke emotional connection to the characters, and therefore feels less satisfying.

The cinematography is fantastic and the soundtrack is powerful, though almost too much at times. But the plot is too simplistic which makes the runtime ridiculously overlong. The acting isn't terrible, but the dialogue is atrocious, wooden, and mechanically delivered. It would have served the film better had it been done in native languages (Russian, Slavic, Icelandic, Norwegian, Scandinavian...), but doing it in English gave it the feel of early Gaul. I liked the Tibetan-Bon singing in the film, but it didn't fit the setting at all, since that is Russian-Tibetan, not Icelandic-based. I think Eggers tried to be too expansive with his period-appropriateness. The film dragged a lot as it lacked any intriguing subplots or mysteriousness. As an action film, it was only so-so, since the action scenes lacked action, and Amleth too often looked as if he was flexing for photo ops and not actually fighting or killing. Too many dream sequences that just felt glommed on to the thin story. Sadly, an easy film to let run in the background until the revenge mayhem towards the end. Cool to see Bjork in a film!

I despise Robert Eggers' "The Northman"-truly, I hate this movie with a passion. And yet, I can't deny it's a visual marvel, maybe one of the most beautifully shot films ever made, so I'm grudgingly giving it 6 stars. The cinematography is jaw-dropping: every frame is a brutal, primal painting-icy fjords, blood-soaked earth, and firelit faces that scream raw power. It's a feast for the eyes, no question, with a meticulous beauty that almost justifies its existence.

But that's where the praise ends. The pacing is a slog-slow, plodding, and borderline torturous. What could've been a gripping Viking revenge epic drowns in its own artsy muck, sucking out any shred of entertainment. The story's thin as gruel, and the deliberate tempo feels less profound and more like a punishment. I wanted to love it, but the boredom killed me long before the credits rolled. It's a gorgeous bore-a stunning shell with no soul. Six stars for the visuals alone, because I'm not blind, just miserable watching it.