- Howard Marks: A dealer is really just someone who buys more dope than he can smoke. And I have to say, I'm ashamed, I tried to smoke it all. There was just too fuckin' much of it.
- Jim McCann: Now, the Provos can't be involved in any of this shite. If they find out, I'll be shot. You'll be shot, we'll all be fucking shot.
- Howard Marks: So we don't sell the stuff in Ireland.
- Jim McCann: You'd better not be selling anything here. Could you get us some filthy films? Condoms? The priests have made them illegal. They wanna charge us a kid a fuck.
- [Voice over]
- Howard Marks: The next morning I woke up famous. I was now pursued by the IRA, the DEA, Customs and Excise, the police and the press.
- [Voice over]
- Howard Marks: Every time I crossed the border, I'd get a religious flash and an asexual orgasm.
- Howard Marks: Am I a criminal now?
- Judy Marks: If you break a law that's wrong, that can't be a crime. Not in a moral sense. Why is it against the law? Why make something illegal that expands your consciousness, makes you think? Makes you wanna fuck.
- Howard Marks: In the papers they call people who sell drugs pushers. You know, like you've got to try really hard to get rid of it. Doesn't really work like that, does it?
- Jim McCann: That was Gus. He's a member of the Belfast brigade's assassination squad. I wanted him to know your face, so no fucking games now, you understand me, do you?
- Patrick Lane: You need to explain this big lot of money?
- Howard Marks: Yeah.
- Patrick Lane: Sounds like you need a bent accountant.
- Hamilton McMillan: Still the same old Howard. What about the ladies? Still having the old success?
- Howard Marks: Look, I'm with Judy now. She's pregnant.
- Hamilton McMillan: But that wouldn't inhibit you, would it?
- Howard Marks: What? Chatting up other women?
- Hamilton McMillan: Not for narcicistic pleasure. For Queen and country.
- Howard Marks: What the fuck for then, Mac?
- Hamilton McMillan: For Queen and country.
- Howard Marks: Are you... asking me to be a spy?
- Howard Marks: [Voice over]
- Howard Marks: You know, people ask me... They say, "It looks like a glamorous life, being a drug dealer. It looks like a lot of fun." And I reply, "Don't do it unless you are prepared never to be a grass."
- [Voice over]
- Howard Marks: Don't do it unless you are prepared never to be a grass. However, appearing to co-operate is another matter.
- [Voice over]
- Howard Marks: I staged my own abduction, so my Dad wouldn't forfeit bail. You don't forfeit bail if you've been kidnapped.