Bill Murray credited as playing...
Frank Quinn
- Frank Quinn: I sold 26 of the ugliest cars in the middle of December with the wind blowing so far up my ass I was farting snowflakes into July.
- Frank Quinn: How ya fixed for underwear?
- Felix Bush: I don't wear none!
- Frank Quinn: One question too many.
- Frank Quinn: You've been wanting a shot at sales. As of right now, you're on commission. Remember - foot in the door, establish trust, and drop the hammer.
- Buddy: I'd rather you go too.
- Frank Quinn: No doubt. But if you don't do this by yourself, you'll never know if you're any good. And you'll never be good if you don't know that you are.
- Frank Quinn: What are the odds in a funeral home going broke when you have a business that everybody on Earth needs? If you can't make that work, it's got to be you, right? And yet, I don't know. What do you do when people won't die?
- Frank Quinn: [Felix is about to get a haircut and a shave]
- [to Barber]
- Frank Quinn: I wish you wouldn't do that yet.
- [to Felix]
- Frank Quinn: Mr. Bush, you can cut all the hairs you want after we've taken your picture. I'll pay for it.
- Felix Bush: Why you want my picture made?
- Buddy: We want to run an ad in some papers about your party. Hang some posters up of you.
- Felix Bush: You want me to look like this?
- Frank Quinn: Yes.
- Felix Bush: Why?
- Frank Quinn: Why?
- [pauses]
- Buddy: Well, it's how people recognize you, sir.
- Frank Quinn: And you want as many people to come as possible. So...
- Felix Bush: So... crazy nutter draws more, hm?
- Frank Quinn: [pauses] Don't you think?
- Felix Bush: Oh.
- [Get's out of barber chair and leaves]