Holmes & Watson

I always thought giving birth was the most painful thing I would ever experience. I was wrong. Watching 5 minutes of this movie was far more painful.

Sherlock Holmes is determined to capture Professor Moriarty. However, Holmes (Will Ferrell) is an idiot and seems to do his best to help Moriarty escape....and having his devoted partner hung instead! And, in doing so, he's allowing Moriarty's plot to kill the Queen to move forward.

One of my favorite comedies is "Talladega Nights" starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. And, while not as funny, their film "Step Brothers" also makes me smile. So, you'd think that the pair would pretty much a guarantee of a good laugh....though "Holmes & Watson" is ample proof that even this duo can make a dud. And, it all boils down to the script, as "Holmes & Watson" hasn't a single laugh in the film. Instead, it resorts to the cheap and disgusting...such as vomiting, an autopsy, male lactation, horse excrement, and urination. Most children could write a script funnier than this bilge.

The bottom line is that even funny folks need a competent script....and this script is pure crap through and through. Unfunny, mean-spirited and stupid....that's "Holmes & Watson". Rarely has a film cost this much and delivered so little.

By the way, if you watch this film (DON'T), it's obvious they set it up for a sequel. Considering nearly everyone hated "Holmes & Watson" the chances of this sequel are pretty much one in a billion (give or take 10).

Never have I ever been so bored, disgusted, and repulsed by a movie. My family and I collectively decided to walk out about an hour in, realizing what a waste of time this film has been. There are so many better movies in theaters right now- please, please, please stay away from this hot garbage.

While the movie had plenty of slapstick and cheese if you will-it was a comedy like "Airplane" and worthy of a look. Quality actors -some are very surprising and a light take on the story. I did not walk out when I saw this although a lot of people did. It reminded me of the British comedy group "Monty Python" and all the antics they got into over the years. Now it's only 90 minutes so it won't drag the story out and I found it lighthearted fun. Be mindful though that some of the content wasn't necessary but with slapstick humor it made its way into the film. If you need a few laughs and I certainly did at the time it was released give it a look.

This movie is as bad as its awful reputation. You may cease reading now, since I have imparted everything you need to know about it. I will now blather on for a few lines because otherwise the IMDb would not print this.

It is poorly written. When I heard the word "kids" in the first two minutes to mean small children, and saw girls in a British public school in the 19th century, I thought I was in for a YOUNG EINSTEIN sort of movie. No, it is sloppily, uncaringly written, and nothing about it gives any impression that anyone behind the camera put more than minimal thought into the movie. There are shots that are out of focus.

Ah, you ask, but how about the jokes? There is one good gag, in which the Robert Downey movies are mocked: overcranked sequences in which Holmes analyses what a course of action will yield..... only to have his analysis turn out wrong. This gag is done three times. There are also urine jokes, sexual assault jokes, and other examples of juvenile humor which are not elaborated, only repeated.

I've wasted an hour and a half watching this piece of garbage and another ten minutes writing this. That's more than enough.