The chasm between a porn screenplay and a mainstream screenplay is on display in Will Ryder's beyond mediocre rom-com for Adam & Eve. With its vast cast list and substantial crew it strikes me as perhaps the worst "major" production in the venerated porn label's history. Fortunately, few fans will have wasted time watching it now that this style of Adult filmmaking and in fact the DVD format itself are both passé.
Tommy Pistol at his worst (making faces, overacting and looking dreadful in the nude (like Ron Jeremy gone to pot but still thinking he's vastly amusing) plays a 36-year-old ne'er-do-well son to Brad Armstrong and Sarah Vandella (! -he's 7 years older than her in what we laughingly call real life) who has to get a job or else. He applies for janitor but is accepted (thanks to a fake résumé prepared by his hambone stoner pal Jake Adams) for the post of Emergency Room surgeon instead!
This Ryder screenplay is so lame it would have been rejected by the lowliest of the low in "mainstream", say the Troma Team, for whom it would not even qualify for the dubious "so bad it's good" status. Example: friend Jake suggests to Tommy to watch a couple episodes of "Grey's Anatomy" to prep for his surgeon job. And the low point of the crummy movie, truly embarrassing, has talented Adult actress Misty Stone reduced to a Black stereotype, and given an enema by Pistol that results in a blast of Hershey's chocolate syrup in Tommy's face, which he wears "comically" for the next couple of scenes.
Among the other casualties: star Riley Steele as TP's love interest in a truly nothing role; Kenzie Reeves as his jail-bait stepsister plays the "sl*t" role poorly; and Sarah Vandella as her stepmom apparently had breast enlargement surgery (quite unnecessary) and overacts miserably. Sexiest roles go to starlets Savannah Sixx and Liv Wild, while Nia Nacci as a fellow nurse has a stupidly extraneous sex scene with Ryan McLane that plays as if lifted from another movie.
Veterans Frank Bukkwyd and James Bartholet as Mercy West hospital's ER surgeon and administrator respectively carry much of the poorly-conceived comedy burden, which includes a cornball and ineffective gimmick of Bartholet suffering from Tourette Syndrome -hardy-har-har.
Shame on Adam & Eve for rewarding Ryder and his partner Scott David (who insists on furnishing the cast with bad wigs) for their string of lucrative but lousy porn parodies by continuing to fund them in clearly worthless junk like this, arriving on the scene as dead as a dodo.
