Tenchu: Shadow Assassins

We are in Feudal Japan, and Lord Goda rules the kingdom. It has been a year since... the last entry in the series(honestly, I didn't know this was one at first... and don't expect any part of this to bring you up to speed on what has happened), and it is a time of peace. Well, before you can mutter "yeah, that'll last", the princess is captured, and the two ninjas that work for the royal family, Rikimaru(the Latin pop sensation; a man who knows that high quality armor lets your abs breathe, and also one that does not, for whatever reason, cover up his eye-catching hair) and Ayame(supposedly the aggressive of the two, albeit this never comes into play; a woman who was sporting a bare belly and short skirt long before that was the fashion), are sent to recover her. They have to be discreet about it; that doesn't mean that they shouldn't kill everyone they come across(including if they're sneaking into their own castle), of course... in fact, that is encouraged. This is like a Splinter Cell title. You always have somewhere to sneak into, and sometimes someone to find or assassinate(by the way, "Tenchu" apparently means "the wrath of heaven"; if that is really all that amounts to, the great beyond must have a new-found sense of subtlety). Honestly, this has a couple of cool settings(fortresses, rural areas, some with rain and thunder), and for some reason, this insists on reusing ones over and over, and it feels incredibly lazy. They don't even do anything interesting with it. Some of the goals(in the repeat ones, that you've already gone through) are the exact same! It feels rushed. The levels being entirely linear, often with only one correct solution, don't help any. This is crushingly monotonous. Unlike SC and similar ones, it's the same thing over and over. Moves are introduced and barely used(corner perch, I'm looking at you). Going from cover(that is made fairly obvious, once you get near it, and when hiding either yourself or a body so that it is concealed, it is easier to tell than in most of these) to cover is nice(be careful with the dash, it may take you out into the open without warning you), and you can commit Hissatsu(instantly slaying someone; choose the maneuver(if you can figure out how), and when they don't suck or are weird, they're badass, among the best of this; you can not do this on someone who knows you're in the vicinity) from there, if the enemy comes close enough(if not, you can usually follow him and do so... except for one type of them, that can hear you from absurdly long away). Triggering stuff(such as throwing, leaping, etc.) is often done with a flick or turn of the Wii-Mote(for some reason, not hopping from one bar to another, that's done by the A button... why?), but several are awkward. So are the movement controls, and far too slow for this kind of thing. You can strafe by holding down B, though that's also for running, so they get mixed up all the time. The jump is the worst and least useful I think I've ever come across in a video-game(I wish that was hyperbole). You put out candles to create shadows(that apparently consist of black feathers) and then utilize those to get further undetected. This can be done to bigger "lamps", sometimes, by using a water-pump that doubles as an underwater breathing apparatus. This overstays its welcome, without being long, simply because of how dreadfully boring it is(and this is the only thing by UbiSoft that I would use that word about... what happened, guys?). The plot(told mainly in pre-rendered cut-scenes), once it finally takes off, is somehow simple yet convoluted. You will figure it out almost immediately. There are items, and you are limited to three different ones, so you have to be smart about what you decide to go with, and when and where to use them. The graphics are reasonably well-done, perhaps particularly animations and eyes, and the lighting is OK, if fire is ugly. There is a nifty style to "executions", and when you're in the darkness, you will literally see it envelop you, like a living organism(not unlike Spider-Man's foe, Venom). The score is fine, a little of it downright good. Is it my imagination, or does one of the pieces start out sounding like an Asian instrumental version of the Mission: Impossible theme? Getting caught isn't a big deal... there are no alarms, all it affects is your rank(the only reason to replay this is to improve that, and I personally was happy to have this over with and can't imagine I'll bother with that), and that's it. You can die, here and there; so seldom that you get careless, really. There is next to no tension in all of this, other than the boss battles. And those depend on your ability to fence(the main reason I bought this in the first place... and the system is very well done, I must say), and since that only happens outside of these fights when you get spotted(and is what you're trying to avoid, unless that is the way you try to take out the guards; also, it requires you to be carrying the weapon), you have no training in it. Combat is divided into defence(where you angle the Wii-Mote horizontally, vertically, or tilted left/right, when prompted to, to block... awesome, when you finally get the hang of it, and a challenge... if you don't get it quite right, your sword will be damaged, if it breaks, you lose the match, if you get it *completely* wrong, you'll be struck and, if you have lives in the bottom left corner, you will lose one/die) and attack(where you strike swiftly, trying to inflict maximum damage by targeting weak points). There is blood and disturbing content in this. I recommend this solely to those that love this kind of game. 6/10