Episode list

"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through."

"All of a sudden within a hundred meters of your house that's where the worst thing happens and suddenly the world becomes different...you can't go back to who you were."

"It's not that I understand why this happened, but understanding that you think you know what's going on, but you don't. You think you have control but you don't."

"What I feared the most was that these episodes would continue to increase until that's the world I was living in, in this other nonsensical world completely detached from reality."

"Not knowing, not having control over my body, and not having control over the narrative of everyone around me...it's the worst feeling to have to go through this by yourself."

"The first thing that I felt was invaded, like I physically wanted out of my skin. I didn't know who the other half of me was....My whole body was crawling and I just wanted out."

"It's like trying to go into like a dark cave with a rope attached to you so that you can find your way back and then losing that the end of the rope."

"I don't really remember not having different parts...I just thought that everybody had different quote unquote people inside them."

"I've lived long enough existing in that gray area of not really knowing that maybe I will live the rest of my life not really knowing."

"If I have to go on based what I found out, I feel like maybe my whole entire relationship was just a fantasy."

"I believe that people like me people that have experienced trauma, I think we're the ones that need to save the world...we're the ones that actually know everything about innocence."

"It's almost as if like I could feel my whole self just changing at this point and just changing in the way that I trust people...and questioning myself and everything."

"It came along with this complete obliteration of everything I had ever believed and been taught and every moral that I was that I had within me."

"If there was a note...or just anything that would give us a single clue about it...but ultimately I don't know like I'm never going to know why."

"After like looking in the mirror saying like wow I fucking like hate myself right now...as I got more upset and as time progressed I would go deeper deeper deeper."

"Human behavior in general is just unpredictable. You can think you know that a person wouldn't do this or would do this or wouldn't be capable of it. And then they do it."

"You've got to figure out how to go through the world in a way that feels right to you and that you do the least damage, and that you do the most good. But that path is not always clear."

"People say you should always trust your gut feelings. But I couldn't trust my gut feeling and I still can't to this day, because to me a gut feeling is in turn thinking about hurting somebody else."

"I have a fear every single day am I going crazy and I don't even know it? I didn't know the things that I was doing and the things that I was saying were so extreme."

"It's interesting always having this void, knowing that you have something so wonderful that could love you so much and you could love so much that exists out there."

"All that traumatized people are really looking for is not a fix-it but more like a validation or acknowledgement that it matters."

"How could I allow myself to mourn what I had lost? Because if I mourned it, then it was like a death, and I couldn't accept that the me that I knew had died."