I Am Here... Now

Not to be a complete grammar snob, but I hope Neil Breen knows an ellipsis is three dots, not four.

So.... (Three dots) have you ever had a dream so awesome you felt like you should write it down and make a movie? Then, you tell a friend about it and they tell you it is a crap story? Well, I think Neil Breen had that dream but never let anyone scan over the story before making into a movie.

He DID improve upon his movie-making skills since Double Down. This film relied far less on royalty-free footage and music and actually seemed to include scenes filmed directly for the movie, not for a 3-2-1 Contact segment from 1981 as In his prior film.

On the other hand, my "compliment" is akin to saying that a kid's 4th grade art project is better than their 3rd grade art project. How someone can be so egotistical to write, star in, direct, produce, and even CATER their own movie is beyond my self-loathing comprehension. I, as a Midwestern middle class woman have the same access to equipment, money, software, and acting talent as Mr. Breen. Yet, I choose not to make a movie showcasing my mediocre talent. However, does that make me smart OR does that make Neil Breen brave. Only the viewer can decide...

This film was Neil Breen's little joke at the expense of those who didn't "get" Double Down (2005), ie that the latter was a descent-into-madness tale told from the perspective of a character who was clearly delusional at the outset. So he portrays a literal deity here and expounds everything to us.

Neil Breen plays a cyborg alien Jesus in this movie and that alone is quite something isn't it? I mean, the symbolism is just off the roof in this and Breen myself gets his message out very vividly.

The Being (Neil Breen) is disappointed by its creation, the almighty being that created Man arrives on Earth in a human form and interacts with various troubled, wicked and sinful people on his journey to Vegas.

I Am Here….Now is a work of sheer breenius. It's a breathtaking thrill ride with plenty of symbolism and brilliance from the Breen.

If you haven't check this out yet, please….do.

This may sound hyperbolic, but I firmly believe that so-bad-it's-good may be the most difficult film style to pull off. There's a limited pool of movies that even classify for the genre, and when they happen, it seems almost by fluke. You could never make another Troll 2 or Room no matter how hard you tried. The fact that Neil Breen has been able to amass such a vast body of work without gaining any sense of self awareness is a small miracle.

Not all poorly made movies are this fun to watch either. It's just loaded with so many details that offer laugh potential in every scene. Some awful acting here, terrible dollar store props there, ridiculous and self indulgent plot developments everywhere. You should make yourself watch one of these every so often to fully appreciate just how hard film making actually is, and how much even the most mediocre, straight to Netflix garbage is actually getting right. When you see something as simple as sound editing getting screwed up, you realize just how much you've come to take for granted.

So far I'm three deep into the Breen filmography. This movie sort of pales in comparison to the undisputed masterpiece, Fateful Findings, but has a more satisfyingly coherent plot than Double Down. All three have their merits though, and I wouldn't recommend skipping any of them.

I haven't finish watching it, because I mean, who actually could? I gave it my best, but it's just...A lot of cringe. I bet even Neil throughout the first 20 minutes of previewing his final cut probably left and never finished watching it. Its just a literal waste of time. I like to watch low budget movies, but this feels like it was bad not on purpose and also on purpose...I feel like Neil genuinely believes that this is a real and serious movie, but hes not 100% sure. And that's a vibe I dont like, it's actually a bit terrifying and might be a sign of something being wrong with him. It feels like he hired some female actors just to paint a picture of him being able to get the ladies. Its something like a Steven Seagull vibe, but only worse and with less budget. I think this man might be delusional in real life as well, cos obviously he kept making similar movies afterwards with the same general message. And that is, that he a is a selfish, self-centered ego-maniac. Our art should represent who we are, and if it's not satire, which this one just isnt, then...What more do I need to say?