Kristen Wiig credited as playing...
Maggie Dean
- Milo Dean: Have you read "Marley and Me?"
- Maggie Dean: Yeah. Sad.
- Milo Dean: Why is it sad?
- Maggie Dean: You don't know what happens?
- Milo Dean: No, that's why I'm reading it.
- Maggie Dean: Sorry.
- Milo Dean: What?
- Maggie Dean: Nothing.
- Milo Dean: Does the dog die at the end?
- Maggie Dean: No. I didn't say that.
- Milo Dean: The fucking dog dies at the end.
- Maggie Dean: I'm didn't - I'm not saying anything!
- Milo Dean: Look how much I had left!
- [Milo proceeds to throw the book onto the ground and sighs]
- Maggie Dean: I'm sorry I ruined it.
- Milo Dean: Maggie, I know the dog dies. Everyone knows the dog dies. It's the book where the dog dies.
- Maggie Dean: Asshole. I see you're getting your sense of humor back.
- Milo Dean: Yeah, they can't take that away from me.
- Maggie Dean: He doesn't deserve a fucking whore as a wife.
- Milo Dean: You're not a whore.
- Maggie Dean: [interrupts] Oh, really?
- Milo Dean: [continues] So don't say that, please.
- Maggie Dean: What would you call it, then?
- Milo Dean: You're a restless housewife with whore like tendencies.
- [Maggie chuckles]
- Milo Dean: Look, it had nothing to do with you.
- Maggie Dean: That is bullshit. You're my brother. And we're supposed to be there for each other. And if you don't get that by now, then, I don't know, I guess I'll talk to you in another ten years.
- Milo Dean: You're emotionally unstable.
- Maggie Dean: You're a prick!
- Milo Dean: You need professional help!
- Maggie Dean: Oh, and this coming from a guy who just tried to kill himself.
- Milo Dean: [Bitter] Maybe I should try fucking all my problems away.
- Maggie Dean: Well maybe next time you should cut deeper
- [Tears up at what she said]
- Maggie Dean: [Slightly drunk] Stop trying Judy. Stop trying. There are worse things than being a shitty mother.
- Judy: [looking embarrassed and close to crying] So... if you've finished... vomiting all over me
- [nervous laugh]
- Judy: I'll just say er thank you for dinner and er Milo thank you for the invitation
- [Milo looks over at her]
- Judy: and I'm sorry that I've ended up being so toxic. I just want you both to know...
- Maggie Dean: [Turning away] oh my god.
- Judy: ...I'm sending you the light... when it lands.
- [leaves]
- Milo Dean: [Taking a drink of wine] Well at least she's sending us the light.
- Milo Dean: Do you love him?
- Maggie Dean: Yeah, I do. He's... he's good.
- Milo Dean: Maybe good isn't your thing.
- Maggie Dean: [speaking through car window to Milo] Do you think that I should have a baby? I mean... do you think I would be a good mom?
- Milo Dean: [Avoids eye contact staring out front screen thinking] errrrrrm... I don't... I don't know.
- [Maggie looks away upset]
- Milo Dean: I mean... I er think you would be very attentive.
- Maggie Dean: Okay?
- Milo Dean: [Narrows eyebrows in confusion] Maybe a bit overprotective? Uptight?
- Maggie Dean: Gee, thanks
- [glares at him]
- Milo Dean: I'm just being honest, it's a loaded question. I'm sorry.
- Maggie Dean: I think that I would be an excellent mom
- Milo Dean: [High pitched] Okay
- [Maggie glares]
- Milo Dean: what do you want me to say?
- Maggie Dean: How about something that doesn't make me feel like a piece of shit?
- [Milo opens mouth then looks away]
- Maggie Dean: you know you're so goddamn selfish Milo it's mind blowing.
- [walks away before flipping him off as he calls her name]