The Hills Have Thighs

Me and my Father decided to try a new film out for our dirty film Friday event and we loved 'The Hills Have Eyes' so decided to give this a shot.

I would like to first give you a back story on myself as a person as I feel it is important to know a bit of details on the person reviewing the film. I am a 23 year-old man who hasn't had a girlfriend for a long time and sadly due to my ex-girlfriend moving in with an Alpha male named Chad and moved to America to be with him, I have been forced to live with my Father and dirty film Friday is our way of spending quality time together.

Enough of me, onto the film...

The first thing that caught my attention was the beautiful scenery and a very authentic looking set. The dialogue was beautifully written and at times actually brought a tear to my eye (If you know what I mean). The fact that a simple film like this would grip me into the story so much within just the first 20 minutes is something that I believe the directors should be extremely proud of.

The girls were very good looking too and performed very nicely, well... I think they did I'm a virgin so I'm not 100% sure but my Father seemed to enjoy the film based on that while I took more of a backseat to the acting and plot which was top notch.

Hopefully one day I'll meet a red headed vixen like 'Mira ' played by Rebecca Love and I will get a happy ending as in this film.

Loved it, one of my personal favourites now and I would recommend it to anyone and everyone.

My rating 10/10 My Dads rating 8/10 - He didn't like the plot and thought it was too predictable.

Okay, I'll admit that the neither fish nor fowl genre of soft-core generally does little for me- it has neither the erotic build up of a good R-rated film nor the carnal reality of an X feature. At least some of them are funny.

While channel surfing the scenery caught my eye (not that scenery though). The Alabama Hills with snow covered Mount Whitney in the background were beautiful in HD. The production values were quite good- even some of the "normal" acting was OK.

The main point of this movie did nothing for me. I found myself fast-forwarding through the bouncing balloon scenes. I even watched to the end to check out the credits and was impressed with the huge list of crew involved. Quality production values, obviously a reasonable budget, even a workable plot- (probably better basic plot than "Tremors" filmed in the same area). It was so poorly executed that even this guy who likes to see top-heavy women gets nothing out of it.

PS- I've climbed some of those rocks. They're very rough on the skin; I feel sorry for the poor actresses!

The Hills Have Thighs is Jim Wynorski's latest late night Cinemax T&A flick and conforms pretty well to his past outings. A hiker becomes lost in the wilderness and comes across sexually insatiable mutant cave women who hold him captive for their carnal enjoyment. Two couples that are friends of his go off to try to find and save him, unaware of his true predicament.

No time is wasted getting right into the good bits, with two cave women immediately ravishing the unsuspecting hiker. If they could bottle whatever mutated the cave women to look like this, it would put every plastic surgeon in Los Angeles out of business. I have not seen breasts as impressively pumped up as Kylee Nash's since the days of Shae Marks and Pandora Peaks in Andy Sidaris's old spy softcore erotica.

All of Julie K. Smith's scenes are amazing as usual. Kylee Nash's scene by the bonfire is easily my favorite in the film and I hope to see her in more in the future. Disappointments were Glori-Anne Gilbert's scene being recycled old footage from a past film (the dreaded flashback scene) and Dianna Terranova, while attractive, not actually getting naked and involved in any of the scenes other than just dancing around. Overall, though, the film is definitely a success for the genre, and is my favorite of Wynorski's parody themed late night romps since The Breastford Wives.

I've always been fond of Julie K. Smith, but it's the visuals of being shot in the Californian desert that elevate this standard T&A pic 'The Hills Have Thighs' from director Jim Wynorski. Kylee Nash's huge boobs were a treat too I won't lie, but that doesn't change the fact that this is a strictly by the numbers experience.

When their friend goes missing hiking and the authorities can't find him, two couples Ben (Frankie Cullen) & Mary (Smith) and Mike (Mark Weiler) & Sandy (Brandin Rackley) go searching for him themselves. It means hotel sex, desert sex, dream sequence sex, flashback sex, sex with the cavewomen (Nash, Rebecca Love, Dana Bentley) who have him kept sex hostage.

There's one obvious bit of cheapness on display - they reuse Glori-Anne Gilbert's sex scene with Cullen from 'Witches of Breastwick' - but the unique location allows this to be a slight step up from the usual low energy formula and the cast look to be having fun. It's still your tame mix of boobs & fake sex coming in at a brisk 70 minutes so I can't rate it higher. Don't read too much into the spoof parody title neither.

The Hills Have Thighs (2010)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A man goes hiking through the Alabama Hills where he runs into some wild women who come onto him sexually. A month passes and the man hasn't returned back to his normal life so four friends decide to go looking for him. Whenever the four aren't having sex they are looking for their missing friend and soon they run into the sex-starved ladies.

As the fun and clever title gives away, this here is basically a softcore version of THE HILLS HAVE EYES. No matter what you think of the softcore genre you've got to at least admit that this is a great title. Cult director Jim Wynorski wrote and directed this film under the name Salvadore Ross but no matter what name he's working under he has always been able to make a fun "B" picture.

Obviously, if you're not a fan of these types of softcore movies then it's probably best you don't waste your money on it but if you are a fan then you're going to know Wynorski's name and I'd say you'll get some entertainment out of this. Julie K. Smith is good and dependable as usual and there's a terrific sequence with Kylee Nash in front of an amazing fire. I'd say that a lot of people are going to agree that this here was the highlight of the film. It should go without saying but there are beautiful ladies running around naked throughout the film and that's certainly what people are going to be drawn to.

With that said, I must admit that I was really shocked at how terrific the cinematography was and there's no question that the Alabama Hills setting was perfect. The scenery in these types of movies are usually just the ladies but the various locations here are also terrific and I'm sure many people will be looking at those snow covered mountains just as much as the other mountains bouncing around.