Having been an avid watcher of The Divine David Presents, and having seen him perform live a number of times, I've always counted myself as one of David Hoyle's fans. His unsettling mixture of compassion, anger at the world's injustice, and a complementary willingness to laugh at cruelty made him a unique performer. But ten years' good work has been undone in an instant – though it felt like a small eternity – with this film. A stultifying 94-minutes of non-plot, non-acting, non-scripted tedium which was filmed on video over five days in a caravan park. Hoyle plays the eponymous character who has sex with his hunky young nephew Ashley (Ashley Ryder) and sometimes pimps him out to other men.
The film comprises mostly of Uncle David giving boring lectures on consumerism and heteronormativism to Ashley. There is a small break in the tedium when they dance around their caravan for a bit, and a nice 45-second interlude when the two characters charm some cows in a foggy field. But then we're back to Uncle David drivelling on for the third time about how people who go to work are drones and mortgages are bad. The film ends with its "shocking" climax, but it's shocking only in that it's dragged out for so long.
Seeing Hoyle live, he has a tremendous energy which somehow seems to evaporate when captured on cheap video. Even when he's smashing up some china figurines (daringly representing the Christian family) there's something quite soporific about his performance.
It's a good bit of marketing having Ryder as co-star though the man can barely act. Even a relatively simple line like "that blue's nice, it matches your top" – which is hardly "once more into the breach" – seems beyond him. Hoyle should have remembered the 27th Law of Showbiz: Porn stars and actors should never be confused. This is the law which explains why Ian McKellen was never asked to do World Soccer Orgy 3.
Although I thought it the most tedious film I've seen in years I'm sure others will warm to its critique of Western Society, its "transgressive" nature, and its shots of Ashley Ryder naked.
Oh, and one other thing. If, for some reason I can't fathom, you want to push up the film's IMDb star rating probably best not to give it ten stars as it looks a tad suspicious. Although I loathed the film I could imagine someone giving it a six or a seven. Possibly an eight. Maybe, God help us, a nine. But today's stats show that 7 out of 18 voters have given it the maximum rating believing that Uncle David is up there with The Passion of Joan of Arc, Bicycle Thieves, Vertigo, Citizen Kane, 2001: A Space Odyssey,Rosemary's Baby,
.I could go on but I'd imagine you get the point.
